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I know in this moment, it seems like I’m saving her. But the truth is … she’s the one saving me.
Because getting high isn’t even on my mind right now. Neither is that next pill. Or even having a drink. I’m just thinking about what I can do to help her pain.
For once in my life, it’s not about me. I’m thinking about her. And how I’d give anything to always be the person who gets to dry her tears.
I never thought I’d be the hero in any story. But holding her like this sure makes me wish I could be.
Haley
I pull my Brooks U crewneck sweatshirt over my head before twisting my still-semi-damp hair into a bun.
After Cade held me for a while, I figured I should probably get some actual clothes on in case anyone else came home. Cade has never really struck me as the guy I would want in my corner when shit hit the fan, but it turns out … he’s perfect for the job.
I yank on a pair of black leggings before I slip on my Birkenstocks. Grabbing my phone and tucking it into my back pocket, I know I need to get out of the house. I don’t know where I’m going, but I just can’t be here.
I know it makes no sense that I’m sad. I guess, deep down, I feel this guilt now that Rhett is dead. I worry that his obsession with me, landing him in a psychiatric facility, was somehowthe driving force behind him committing suicide. Despite the obvious—that he had issues—he was still someone’s son. And brother. And grandson. Probably cousin too. People are missing him right now. Even if he is a monster in my particular story. To them, they likely have so many fond memories, and now, that’s all they will ever have. Memories.
I pull my door open to find Cade leaning lazily against his bedroom door, looking down at his phone. When he hears me coming out, he looks up and grins.
“Haley baby, whaddya say you and I get out of the house for the rest of the day? Blow this Popsicle stand?”
He flashes me a light, carefree grin. One that makes him look five years younger, I swear. Every now and then, there’s a look of pain in his eyes or maybe sorrow. But when he looks at me like that, there’s not a cloud in sight. He just looks happy. And when Cade looks happy, it makes my heart squeeze in my chest.
“I say … hell yes.” I nod. “Let’s do it.”
Walking toward me, he holds his arm out like we’re headed to a grand ball or something, and I giggle, looping my arm in his as we head down the stairs.
Right now, it doesn’t matter that Nash texted me earlier and asked if I wanted to grab a bite to eat. Or that I have a mountain of homework to do. And honestly, when I glance over at Cade and he smiles down at me, showing his subtle dimple, all the stuff with Rhett doesn’t even matter. All that matters is that Cade Huff is here to save the day.
We continue to drive, chatting about nothing in particular, yet it’s so comfortable between us, like neither of us has to talk ifwe don’t want to. Which is rare for me because I’m a nervous chatterbox who feels the need to fill the void of silence with random words strung together to make sentences. It’s not like that right now. I’m just … content.
I snack on my bag of crack—also known as Nerds Clusters.
A few minutes into our ride, Cade went into a store before returning with a large bag of them as well as a Hershey’s Cookies ’N’ Creme and a Milky Way.
He just handed them to me, and when I looked at him, a big grin on my face, he winked and said, “Figured, on a day like today, you would want number one and two on the list of things you said you could never give up.”
What he doesn’t understand is that I have no willpower when it comes to these things. Even if I make myself sick, eating them all at once. I’ll do it with no regrets.
“Here we are,” he says, pulling into a parking spot. “Let’s go make your day better. Want to?”
He pushes his door open and climbs out, and I quickly do the same. As I walk next to Cade, I look up at the ginormous building. And when I see it’s a bookstore, I swear that the sun shines brighter on it and heavenly music starts to play.
“You brought me to a bookstore?” I say, tucking my arm around his and moving in closer. “Like … for real?”
He shrugs like it’s no big deal, smiling at me. “I remember what you said. That you couldn’t stop buying books, no matter what.” He pauses. “Smuttybooks, if I remember correctly. So, in other words, you read porn.” He nudges me playfully. “I figured it was a safe choice when trying to cheer up my Haley baby.”
“It was,” I whisper. “But this doesn’t seem like your type of place.”
He stops, pretending to be offended. “You don’t think I can read?” Before I can answer, he smirks. “Kidding. Of course I can,but I don’t like to. But guess what they probably do have here. Dirty magazines—that’s what.”
When my mouth hangs open, he leans a little closer to me. “I’m just playing. Now, let’s go get our nerd on. Or should I say, freak on? Since, apparently, that’s what you’re into.”
He holds the door open for me, letting me walk inside first. It just feels right. Everything about this—us—feels just as it should. But maybe that’s not a good thing. Perhaps he doesn’t feel the same way I do.
Either way, today, I’ve learned something. Cade Huff has a side to him that not many people get to see. I consider myself lucky that he’s shown it to me.
Cade
