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“I’m not perfect, Cade,” I protest, standing a little taller. “And I don’t believe you. Why can’t you let me decide what’s good for me and what isn’t?”
“Because you’ll make the wrong decision,” he mutters. “And I can’t give you the choice. I’m not strong enough to walk away from you.”
“But I want you,” I cry out. “How can you not see that?”
“Idosee it, Haley. I see the way you look at me. The way you smile just for me.” He slides his hand lower, running the pad of his thumb along my jawline. “But the truth is, if you knew me—the real me—you wouldn’t look at me that way. And the thought of you looking at me any other way than the way you are right now … fucking kills me.” His eyes dance between mine. “If I let you in, you’ll see what I really am. And I’m not letting that happen. Because I like that you still think of me as a good guy. Selfishly, I can’t let that go.”
“Why did you build me the bookcase?” I breathe out.
His lips hovering over mine weakens me, like a hurricane passing over cold water, slowly breaking apart, losing its control. Losing itself.
This thing between me and Cade, it’s hopeless. Still, here I am, unable to walk away.
“Because you said you wanted them,” he says matter-of-factly. Like that reason should make perfect sense. “So I wanted you to have them.”
Another tear falls from my eye, dripping down my cheek. “You remember that night? You really remember being together?”
“I remember every part of it.” His deep voice cracks. “I couldn’t forget it if I wanted to, Haley. And trust me, I’ve tried.”
“Cade,” I whimper desperately, barely recognizing the agony in my voice. “Kiss me. Please.”
“I can’t be everything you deserve, Haley. I need you to tell me you know that.”
“I’m not asking for anything. I get it—you don’t want me that way. Please, Cade, just kiss—” I don’t finish my sentence because his lips are on mine, giving me life. Making everything perfect yet confusing, all at once.
It’s a disaster. This thing between us. But I’ll worry about the mess after everything is said and done.
He kisses me, sliding his hand to the back of my neck. He lifts me up, wrapping my legs around his waist and pushing my back against the doorframe.
It feels like my soul leaves my body. Like I’m watching this moment happen to someone else.
His mouth tastes minty, like spearmint gum, as his tongue slips against mine the smallest bit, teasing me and making me want more. I grind against him, wanting him so bad that my core aches.
When he rears back slightly, I panic that he is changing his mind. That he’s going to run away. Again.
“Tell me what you want, Haley.”
I press my lips to his once more before pulling back and looking him in the eye. “I want to be as close to you as I can get.”
“Last time … you were drunk. Are you sure this is what you want now that you’re”—he pauses, seeming to grow nervous—“sober?”
“Yes,” I say instantly. “Especiallynow that I’m sober.”
He carries me into his room and sets me down on his bed. And as he stands before me, I can see a bulge growing under his sweatpants. The air becomes thicker, and breathing becomes harder as I draw in a few shaky breaths.
“Need to redo the other night,” he says softly, but his voice is gruff. “I need to make it better for you.”
“It was perfect,” I whisper just as he tugs my shirt and bra over my head and pushes me back until my spine is flat on the bed.
Moving his hands down my body, he pulls my jeans and panties off and dips his fingers inside of me. “Christ, angel. You’re already so ready for me,” he mutters before hooking his hands on the backs of my legs and pushing my knees upward.“Have you thought of me, Haley? Have you thought about when I ate you until you came on my tongue?”
“Yes,” I breathe out. “Yes, I have.”
“You tasted as sweet as you are, baby. And I’ve had a craving for you since that night.” Crawling forward, he dips his face between my legs and drags his tongue inside of me. “So fucking sweet,” he groans. “Hard to eat anything else these days without wishing it were this perfect pussy.”
My hands tangle in his hair, and my back arches. I moan uncontrollably as I watch his mouth work against me. He gazes up, his eyes darkening as he widens his tongue and dives in again.
“Getting you nice and ready to take my cock, sweetheart.”
