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“What’s going on, big fella?” He tips his chin up at the clock. “And why the fuck are we tied up right now?”
“Well, because we scored two and they scored two,” I say sarcastically. “Geesh, Thompson. You sure you’re going to be a doctor? I thought docs were good at math.”
Getting closer, he tips his helmet toward mine. “Are you good, man? Because I’m fucking worried about you. You’ve been late to shit. You’re not around half the time. And you’re moody as fuck.”
“So, my world doesn’t begin and end with hockey,” I mutter with a shrug. “Excuse the fuck out of me.”
“It did up until this fucking season,” he says through gritted teeth. “When you were twice the player you are right now.”
Skating away from him, I give him a cocky smirk. “What can I say? I guess I’m just not as fucking awesome as you, Thompson.”
I thank God when the game is about to start back up so that I can be left alone. If I’ve sucked tonight, I don’t know what to tell them. I’m doing the best I can.
“Huff, I think your eyes look swelled up under that helmet,” Terrance Geel, my opponent and the biggest dude on the ice, says, giving me a smirk. “Must be from all that crying after losing last night’s game, huh?”
“You’re right. They are swollen.” I nod. “But it’s because your mama’s damn titties were bouncing so hard and they kept smacking me in the face last night.” Timing it just right, I elbowhis side lightly. “You should see how swollen her lips are from sucking my—”
Before I can finish my sentence, the puck goes into play. I don’t really want to be out here, if I’m being honest. But I would chop my own dick into pieces before I gave the guys the satisfaction that they were right and that I sucked. There’s still another period left. I can show them they are wrong.
Besides, if they’ve noticed something is up, LaConte probably has too. I need to remind him I’m fine.
My head is soaked with sweat as I play as hard as I can, telling myself that it’s just a little longer and I’ll be free to go the hell home. I ignore the pain in my knee, letting it fuel me more.
With less than two minutes on the clock, we’re still tied. And there’s no way I’m staying here for overtime. Fuck. That.
Skating toward Terrance just as he skates across the blue line, I smash my body against his and offset him just enough for me to gain control of the puck. As I head toward the opposing team’s goalie, I see Link and Walker, but neither of them is open. I play defense. It’s what I’m good at. But right now … I’m looking to score. Because I haven’t brought my best game lately and I guess I have some making up to do.
That excitement grows in my chest as I close in on their goalie, reminding me that despite how messed up my life is right now, somewhere deep, deep down … I do love this game.
I score, and the crowd goes wild, knowing this game is likely ours. But for once, I don’t feel Eli with me. And it’s probably because even he’s stopped believing in me. Why wouldn’t he? I’m a fucking mess.
He’s dead, and I’m here. And I don’t know why God would ever make it like that.
Haley
I sit next to Sutton, my eyes glued on Cade as the clock winds down to zero.
“Whatever Hunter said to Cade must have worked,” Sutton says next to me. “He sucked, and now, he’s actually doing good. I mean … he just scored a goal.”
I don’t know what my brother said to Cade, but it seemed to light a fire under his ass. Before Hunter went over to him, he was incredibly sloppy on the ice. Moving around like a zombie. Now, it’s like he got a second wind.
I think back to the other night in the bathroom. I never noticed until now that he looks a little skinnier than he did when I first moved in. I didn’t connect all the things that show he’s been struggling with something. His hot and cold act when it comes to me, his never being on time for anything, and his being out late and sleeping in late.
A shiver runs down my spine as worry strikes deep inside of me. I might be the only one who knows that Cade is having a hard time. And now … it might be up to me to make sure he’s okay.
The game comes to an end, and despite Brooks losing last night’s game, they take home the win tonight. The team cheers, skating toward each other and gripping Cade’s mask, smacking him on the back because he scored the winning goal. His eyes find mine, and even though he smiles, my heart still aches. Because until the last few minutes of the game, he wasn’t mentally on that ice. I want to help him, but I know it’ll just cause a fight between us.
I can’t try to save him. Because if I push too hard, he’ll hate me.
But him hating me sounds a lot better than me losing him altogether.
Cade
I finish showering in record time. And thank God I’m one of the first to do interviews, so I get out of there earlier than some of the others. But if I know Haley, she’ll be waiting for me and Hunter by the exit. And I don’t have time to talk to her right now because I need to go to Van’s.
Just as I thought, Haley is sitting on a bench next to the door. And when she spots me, she smiles. But it isn’t her usual smile. The one I know I’m not worthy of. There’s a hint of sadness in it, just like there has been since the night of the storm. I ruined it. From that moment forward, she hasn’t looked at me like I am perfect, and she probably won’t ever again. But here she is, waiting for me because she fucking feels bad.
I need her to move on with her life and forget about me. One day, she won’t even remember me because she’ll be so happy. I wish I could say the same about myself, but who am I kidding? She’ll always be the one who got away. No, the one I pushed away to save her from me.
