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“Pull over,” I cry out, clutching my stomach with my hand. “Now!”
As she pulls onto the side of the road, I throw the door open and lean my head out. I dry-heave some more, and I begin to wonder if maybe actually throwing something up would be easier than this shit.
After a few minutes, I wipe away the tears that poured from my eyes and shut the door. “Tell me something. Anything.”
“Um …” she utters as she pulls back onto the road. “Well … oh, oh, I know! I’m newly single. So, yeah. That’s fun. Right?”
“What?!” I bark out, turning toward her. “What are you talking about? What happened with you and—”
She interrupts me before I can get his name out, “He cheated on me. With a freaking model who probably has fake tits and a flawless, perfect face. I found out, like … ten minutes before you called.”
This only makes me cry harder, and I put my hand on her shoulder.
“Remi, I’m so sorry.” I shake my head. “I’m the worst friend ever.”
“Actually, kind of the best because, number one, I’m too distracted with the fact that you’re possibly knocked up to be sad. And, two, now that I’m single, we can just raise the baby together. I’d make a pretty good dad, if I do say so myself.”
“Remi!” I snap, swatting her leg. “Shut up!”
“Too soon?” she whispers with a shrug. “My bad.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask her, keeping my voice soft.
“Not yet,” she answers before giving me a sad smile.
“Okay.” I nod.
And we’re both quiet for the rest of the drive. I don’t think either of us knows what to say. Her relationship just ended. And I’m about to find out if my life as I know it is officially over.
And maybe Cade’s too.
I stare down at the two pink lines, and I can’t even get myself to cry a single tear. I just feel numb. My body, my mind … everything. Remi talks a mile a minute, but I don’t know what she’s saying. It’s all background noise, like my head is underwater and I can only hear muffled sounds.
I feel like I’m watching someone else’s life unfold. Because there’s no way in hell this could be happening to me. I’m safe. And not an idiot. Yet here I am, knocked up by the most unreliable man on the planet. He couldn’t even be there as a friend. How the hell is he going to be there for a baby?
Ourbaby.
Finally, I shake my head and force myself to focus as I look up at Remi. The lights in the bathroom are too bright. The walls, too white. And her voice, too damn loud.
“What am I going to do?” I rasp when the emotions finally flood in. “I’m not ready to be a mom.” I cover my face with my hands and sob. “And he can’t even take care of himself. He’s going to go off the deep end when he finds out.” I sniffle. “I can’t be the reason why he spirals further than he already has.”
On the way home from the store, I spilled my guts to Remi on how I learned that Cade is using drugs. And that I was scared he was in deeper than anyone else knew or even suspected. I know it wasn’t my place to tell anyone, but given the circumstances of today … I couldn’t help myself. Besides, Remi is my oldest, most loyal friend. I trust her more than I trust anyone else in this world.
She leans down and wraps her arms around me. “It’s going to be okay,” she whispers. “I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but it will.” When she pulls back, her eyes look into mine. “One day, you’ll look back and wonder why you ever felt like the world was ending. I promise, Haley, one day, this will be the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”
“How?” I cry harder. “I live in a house with a bunch of hockey players. I still have years left of college. The baby’s father is MIA and could be in a gutter for all I know, and my parents—” My eyes widen, and I feel sick. I have been so preoccupied with worrying about Cade that I haven’t even thought of my parents. Or Hunter. “Oh God, Remi. My parents are going to kill me.”
“They will be upset at first, but they will come around,” she says, assuring me. “They love you. They want what’s best for you. But that doesn’t mean they won’t love this baby too.”
“I’m so afraid,” I whisper, my voice cracking as my lip trembles. “I was stalked and kidnapped, and I wasn’t nearly as afraid as I am right now.” I look at her. “And the truth is, thinking about having a baby isn’t what’s making me so scared. It’s thinking that I might push Cade over the edge when he finds out.” I swallow. “I love him, Remi. I love him more than I’ve ever loved someone in my life. And I can’t be the reason why he doesn’t get better.”
Her hand brushes hair off my face, and she gives me a small, weak smile. “You won’t be. But you know what?”
“What?” I sniff.
“You might be the reason why hedoesget better.” She inhales. “This baby might be the reason.”
I burst into tears, burying my face into her shoulder.
