Page 69 of Lost Boy


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I stare down at her. And then I take my hands from hers and place them on her stomach. “I will be. I know that now more than ever.” I say the words with certainty. I mean them more than I’ve ever meant anything else in my life. “I promise you, Haley, I’ll be the person you and this baby need.”

She breaks down, her entire face falling. “So … you’re saying that you want this baby? You want to be involved?”

“Hell yeah, I wantourbaby,” I tell her. “You won’t have to worry about me. I might not know what the fuck I’m doing. I’ve never changed a diaper or any of that shit, but whatever you guys need … I’m going to be there. Promise.”

“Cade,” she whispers, biting her bottom lip nervously, “when it comes to him or her … you can’t be in and out of their life. Or hot and cold. You can’t be with them how you are with me. Okay? That would be too confusing for them.”

I look down at her. I don’t blame her for having that concern in her mind. Of course she does. I’ve always been so fucking flaky when it comes to her. She’s scared I’ll do the same with our kid, but I won’t.

“Haley, I know I’ve fucked up …a lotwhen it comes to you. I know I would take and then give and then run away and shut you out.” I reach out, brushing a tear from her cheek. “In my head, I did that because I thought it was best for you. I just thought … I thought your life would be better if I wasn’t in it. But then I’d see you, and I couldn’t stop myself. I’m sorry. But I swear to you, I will never do that to this baby. You have my word.”

Through tear-soaked eyes, she peeks up at me before giving me a subtle nod. “Okay,” she whispers. “I believe you.”

It’s shocking really. That I’m not freaking the fuck out over this news.

But I guess feeling that pain when I thought she was carrying another man’s child inside of her body made me realize something. In that moment when I learned the truth, I realized that … my and Haley Thompson’s story isn’t finished yet. Far from it actually.

The way I see it, it hasn’t even begun.

Haley

Hunter says his good-byes to Cade before waiting in the truck, just like he did for most of the visit. My brother is the best person in my entire family. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for the people he loves.

Cade’s parents hug him good-bye before getting into their car and driving away. I think they wanted to give us a minute to say our own good-bye.

He looks so good. He was never scrawny, but when he left for this place, he had lost a little weight and become run-down-looking. Gazing up at him right now, I have to remind myself not to ogle his broad shoulders, or his thick chest, or his eyes—which look clear for the first time since I’ve gotten to know him. His hat’s backward on his head, but it doesn’t make him look like a tool, like some guys do. He instead looks delicious, if I’m being honest.

“I just realized I never asked if you know what you’re having yet. Well, what we’re having,” he says, stuffing his hands in his pockets and nodding toward my belly. “A girl or a boy?”

“I find out in a few weeks,” I say, smiling at the thought of finally knowing. I open my mouth to say Ryann and Remi both think it’s a girl, but I stop myself before the words get out. The last thing I want is for him to feel like everyone knew before him.

“If I’m home by then … I’d like to go.” He seems nervous, shifting his weight around on his feet. “If that’s okay with you, that is.”

“Of course it is. I actually made the appointment for the day after you come home just in case you wanted to be there.” I smile. “Cade, you can be as involved as you want. I hope you know that was never the reason behind me not telling you. I would have loved for you to be there at all the appointments. I just don’t want to overwhelm you.”

The wind whips, a cold, assaulting breeze hitting my cheeks. I know we’re both freezing, but I think neither of us wants to leave. It’s like when you have your first crush and you talk on the phone way too late. Much later than your parents would ever allow if they knew. But neither of you wants to hang up. That’s the way I feel when I’m around Cade.

“It’s weird, but somehow, this news has made me more relaxed about getting out of here.” His words are soft and meaningful. “I finally have something that I need to be accountable for.” He bobs his head lightly. “You and this baby. I’m going to hold myself responsible for you both.”

I give him a small smile, though deep down, I’m worried for him. Worried for the baby too.

“I’d better not keep Hunter waiting,” I squeak even though I’m sure my brother doesn’t mind. But I know he has practice tomorrow morning. “It was really good to see you, Cade. I, uh … I’ve really missed you.” I flick a tear away before it has the chance to roll down my cheek. “We all have.”

“All I’ve done is miss you, Haley,” he mutters before his eyes float to my lips. “I wish I could kiss you. I want to so bad.” He blinks a few times, pulling himself from the thought.

“But you can’t.” I do my best to give him a smile even though it’s weak.

I know how he feels. I’d give anything to be close to him right now.

“But I can’t,” he mumbles back. “Because if I kissed you, I wouldn’t be able to stop.”

He pulls me in for a hug. His arms feel so good, wrapped around me, and he smells even better than I remember. I close my eyes and inhale, fully taking the moment in.

I understand the unconditional love his parents have for him because I’m realizing I have it too.

When he releases me, I reach up and touch his cheek. “I’m so proud of you, Cade.” Tears fill my eyes, clouding my vision, and I blink them away. “So proud.”

“I’m proud of you, Haley.” His eyes are the ones glazed over now. “For months, you’ve been carrying our baby around in your body, probably going to appointments alone, and likely wondering if you were going to have to be both the mom and the dad.” He places his hand on my stomach. “You’re the strongest person I know.”

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