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“Where are your books?” he asks, not looking at me.
“They are back in their respective boxes.” I try to say it lightly, but it’s actually painful to say the words.
I put so much work into unboxing them and setting them up just right. But I needed to move out of this house. He needs time and space to heal.
He walks toward me, stopping so close that it actually hurts to not be able to reach out and touch him. My entire body buzzes, coming to life because he’s near me.
“This bookcase is and will always be yours. I don’t care where you—orwe—live. It’s yours, Haley.”
I’ve felt homesick since the day he left. And even now, having him here, but not actually with me … it’s agony. If someone hated me and created a hell just for me, this would be it.
“It’s so hard not to kiss you, Haley.” His voice is tortured. “So. Fucking. Hard.”
“I know,” I whisper.
I open my mouth to say something else, but I feel a flutter. A feeling I was hoping and waiting for. A few times, I thought I might have felt it, but there’s no denying it this time. Our baby just kicked me. Hard.
“Ouch,” I breathe out, smiling a little.
Cade’s hand flies to my arm, panic written all over his face. “Are you okay? What’s wrong? Is something—”
Without explanation, I take his hand and place it on my stomach. And then I wait. And when his eyes widen and he looksdown at me, an array of emotions flooding his face, the tears well in my eyes. Because that look of sadness in his eyes? It disappears for a second. And my heart swells just to see him in peace.
“Is that our baby?” he whispers just as he or she kicks again. “Thatisour baby. Holy shit, Hales. Holy shit.” He looks at me, inhaling sharply. “Our baby can fucking kick. I’m going to be a dad. I’m going to besomeone’sdad.”
I grin up at him through my tear-blurred vision and nod. “Thebestdad.”
He kisses the top of my head.
And I silently thank the tiny human growing in my body. Because I know just how much their daddy needed this moment.
26
Cade
Iclimb out of the driver’s side of my truck and rush around to help Haley down before she has a chance to get down by herself.
She looks down at me and laughs. “You know I’m not ninety, right? Just pregnant.”
“You’ve got my baby in there, woman.” I hold my hand out for her to take, and reluctantly, she does. “Besides, you had to do way too much by yourself while I was gone. I’m going to be on you like the Nerds on those gummy clusters you enjoy so much.”
She steps down, giving me a pointed look. “I’m only five months along, Cade. I still have a ways to go before I need help getting out of a vehicle.” When she sees me widening my eyes, she shrugs. “Fine. If you want to wait on me hand and foot … I like snacks. Books. And bubble baths.”
“And oversize sweatshirts, crunchy Cheetos, and sweatpants.” I wink. “Nothing but the best for my baby mama.”
I want to hold her hand while we walk into the hospital, but I don’t. We might be having a baby together, but we aren’t romantically involved right now. So, instead, I hold the door open and rest my hand on her lower back when she walks into the office.
I’ve been gone for so long that I feel like a stranger in my own life now. For weeks, she’s gone about life and done what she needs to do when it comes to appointments and such. And I’ve been away. I’m not missing anything else. Even if I drive her crazy, I want her to know that I’m not going anywhere. And that she can depend on me.
She checks in with the lady behind the desk, and we have a seat. I look around the room at the posters of birth and breastfeeding. There’s a small fish tank in the corner and a kids section for the moms who have to bring other children with them to their appointments.
A couple walks out through the door. The woman looks like she’s about to pop and sighs like she’s frustrated. As she waddles along, he takes her hand, giving her a reassuring smile before opening the outside door and leaving.
He gets to be there for her without rules or limits. I wish I had that. I wish I were wired normal so I could just give Haley what she needs right now.
Haley flips through a magazine, but isn’t really looking at it, and after a few minutes, a lady dressed in scrubs comes out and calls her name.
Standing, I follow her toward the lady.
