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“You are not her mother, so don’t act like it. She had a mom; she was a great mom, and she loved Hadley. No one willeverbe able to replace her. Do you understand me?”
My heart dropped to my stomach and my mouth gaped in utter shock as I took a few steps back. After I got my wits about me, I closed my mouth, swallowed hard, and spoke in a clear, calm voice. Even though inside, I was shaking.
“I’m not trying to replace her mother, and I have no idea why you would even say that to me. I’m doing the job you hired me for. I don’t know how else to do it, unless you want me to be cold and mean to your daughter.”
He stared at me like I was insane. “What?” he finally said, clearly confused.
I shook my head. “I don’t know what I did to make youeverthink I would try to replace her mother, but I wouldn’t do that. We talked about Lisa just yesterday on the way home from school, when she said all the kids were drawing pictures of their parents. She drew you, but she didn’t know what to do for her mom’s picture, so I told her to close her eyes and think of a favorite memory in her head and draw that. I…I would never…”
Aiden took a few steps back and ran a hand through his hair. So many different emotions seemed to dance across his face. He dropped his hand, then gave me a stern look. “How did you know about the French toast?”
Now it was my turn to stare in confusion. What in the world was he talking about?
“Answer me!” he barked, making me jump.
That old familiar feeling of fear raced through my veins until I quickly stopped it in its tracks. I vowed when I walked away from Ben, I wouldneverallow a man to yell at me again.
Taking in a deep breath, I closed my eyes and counted to five before opening them. I gave Aiden a hard look. “I donotappreciate being yelled at. I’m going to answer your question, then I’ll go get Hadley ready for school and drop her off. Afterward, I’m coming back here to pack my things, and I’ll let Rose know this isn’t working.”
Aiden’s eyes went wide. “Wh-what?”
Swallowing hard, I went on, “Last night, I asked Hadley if she had a favorite breakfast she wanted to make. She told me she loved French toast and hadn’t had it since her mommy got sick. I was just trying to make her something she liked.”
His eyes closed and he cursed. “Damn.”
“If you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to making your lunches.”
I hated that my voice cracked, that I had shown any weakness. The fact that those awful feelings of fear and failure could come rushing back and overwhelm me once again only proved that I had a long way to go. The emotions I thought I’d buried deep down were still too close to the surface.
As I walked by Aiden, he reached for my arm and gently brought me to a stop.
“Wait. Please…wait.” His voice sounded as defeated as I felt.
My eyes stung with the threat of tears, but I refused to let them show. Ten years of emotional and physical abuse was going to be harder to get over than I’d thought.
“Let me explain.”
My voice came out in a whisper. “You don’t need to explain. I’ll make sure someone can pick up Hadley from school.”
“Damn it, Emma!” he pleaded. “Just give me a minute to apologize and explain.”
I gently tugged my arm, and Aiden immediately let go.
Staring up at him, I took a deep breath and slowly blew it out. I could feel the tears pooling again, threatening to spill. When I spoke, my voice shook.
“I spent ten years of my life with a man who liked to scream at me, and I promised myself I would never, ever do it again, no matterwhothe man was.”
Aiden’s face went white, and he looked as if he might be sick. “I didn’t mean…Ineverraise my voice, Emma, but…I just…you caught me so off guard with the French toast.”
I stared at him, waiting for him to explain. Not that it would excuse his behavior.
“Lisa made Hadley French toast on special occasions. It was their thing. Their very special thing that they only shared together. Hadley has never once asked me to make it for her. When I saw it this morning, it totally shocked and threw me.”
“So, the first thing you assumed was that I had some hidden agenda behind it?”
His cheeks turned red.
“I’m not here to replace your wife, Aiden. I’m here because you hired me to take care of your daughter. And I already find myself falling for that little girl. I care about her and want to make her feel safe and happy. If you think that I’m doing it with malice, this obviously isn’t going to work. I can’t read your mind or follow an invisible set of rules. I realize this is new for you, but it is for me, too.”
