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“I don’t know how to explain it, but she made me feel…alive. I mean, it’s not like she’s the first pretty woman I’ve ever seen or anything. But this was different.She’sdifferent. The few times I’ve brushed against her, or offered to help her and we’ve accidentally touched, even in the slightest way, I feel like I can’t catch my breath. It makes me feel guilty as hell, while at the same time I’m electrified. If that makes sense.”
Dalton leaned forward and rested his arms on his legs. “Why guilty? Because you’re a man and you have feelings for a woman?”
“It’s too soon! And these feelings…I don’t know what they are. I mean, I loved Lisa. Maybe not like I had in the beginning, but Ididlove and care about her. Yet, what I felt for Lisa doesn’t even compare to this thing with Emma.
“I think about her all the freaking time. She makes me and Hadley dinner every night and then leaves so we can have alone time, and every single time she walks away, I want to ask her to stay. When I’m at work and walking out in the meadows, I feel like I can smell her. That freaking soap or lotion or whatever the hell she uses that smells like oranges and vanilla, it invades my senses until I literally stop to look around for her. That’s not normal, Dalton! I didn’t feel that way with Lisa, and that’s not fair to her. It’s not fair that I would feel like this for another woman whom I hardly even know.”
“Not fair?” he said with a slight chuckle. “It’s not fair that you could possibly meet another woman and fall in love?”
I gaped at him, shocked. “I’m not in love with her. It’s more like lust.”
“Lust, huh? Well, if you need to get laid, go get laid.”
Shaking my head, I glared at him. “You know it’s not the same thing.”
“I want to know why you don’t think it’s fair that you move on. Aiden, you and Lisa were not in love at the end, and that’s okay. You loved her because she was the mother of your child. You cared for her, you did right by her. But you weren’tinlove. Don’t feel guilty because another woman makes you feel something in here.”
He pointed to his chest, and I let out a slow breath.
“Last night, I invited her to stay for dinner, and we ate and drank a couple glasses of wine while we watchedSuits. She fell asleep on my shoulder… A decent man would have woken her up and told her to head up to her place. Herbossshould have done that. Instead, I covered her up because it felt good to have a warm body against me. It was like I craved it. I let her sleep, and I ended up waking this morning with Emma in my arms. When I felt her waking up, I pretended to be asleep, and she snuck off. She left her place right before I did.”
A smile moved across his face. “You fell asleep with her on the sofa last night?”
“Yes! Do you see my problem here?”
“No,” Dalton said, shaking his head. “Have you talked to her about this?”
“God, no! Sheworksfor me! Besides, Rose said Emma came from a not-so-great marriage, and from what I can tell by the few things she’s said to me, it’s true. The asshole might’ve even abused her. No—not might’ve. I think he absolutely did. I also think he was in the Marines.”
Dalton snarled his lip. “That sucks if it’s true. Why do you think he was in the Marines?”
I sighed. “Long story. I had Janie at the office run a check on a Ben Middleton from Dallas, Texas, but we can’t find anyone with that name.”
“Middleton is probably her maiden name. If she was in a bad marriage, she wouldn’t want to keep the guy’s name. Hell, she might have changed her name entirely, so he doesn’t find her, if he was abusive, that is.”
Damn it. He was right. “I didn’t even think about that. I need to find out if having Emma in our life puts Hadley in any danger.”
“And you call yourself a cop,” Dalton said, sitting back and crossing his ankles again. “Listen, Aiden, do you honestly think Rose would have let Emma into your home if she thought for a single moment it would put Hadley in danger?”
I sighed. “I wonder if she is using her maiden name again?”
Pulling out my phone, I sent off a quick text to Rose as Dalton spoke again.
“Dude, stop overthinking this thing with Emma. Let it happen if it’s meant to happen.”
I shook my head and stood. “I can’t do that to Hadley. Plus, I’m not ready for anything like that,” I added softer.
My best friend let his shoulders drop and closed his eyes. When he opened them, he pinned me with a look. “You’vegotto let the guilt go. Your marriage was over, Aiden. Lisa flat-out told you she didn’t love you anymore. It’s not your fault she got cancer and died. You didn’t fail at the relationship, you fought for as long as you could.”
My phone buzzed with Rose’s reply. I read it and looked at Dalton. “We should hire Rose. She checked out Emma thoroughly. She does have a restraining order but assures me that all is well.”
“You trust that?”
I nodded. “I trust Rose.”
Dalton nodded.
Sighing, I pushed my hand through my hair. “I wasn’t there the day Lisa found out she was ill because I put work first, Dalton. What type of man does that? Even if we were separated at the time? She’d told me about finding the lump. Told me about the appointment. I knew there was a chance it was cancer, but I wasn’t there for her.”
