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"But I'm so old now," he finishes, then shrugs. "Too old to start a family."
I want to cut him off, but the pasta pot starts to bubble over, and we both get distracted as I jump up to stop it. As I stir the pasta, I can feel my heart racing. I know that I need to tell him the truth, but I'm not sure how he will react. I turn the heat down, take a deep breath, and then turn to face him.
"Ryan," I say softly. "I have something to tell you."
He looks up at me, his eyes filled with concern. "What is it? Is everything okay?"
I'm pregnant. God damn it, say it, Sophia!
But I don't.
"I've always wanted a family," I say quietly.
Ryan comes up behind me, and I feel his body heat before he puts his hands on my hips, his chest pressed to my back. I feel like we're dancing around something--a proposal, a promise, a future that's just out of reach. His right hand slides up my side and then takes the spoon from me.
"Let me do this for you," he says, kissing my temple.
"Make the pasta or give me a family?" I ask.
He chuckles, his voice low and rough as he stirs the pasta around me.
"Both," he says. "I want to make you happy, Sophia. I want to give you everything you've ever wanted."
I turn and face him, our eyes locking. "You already do."
Chapter twenty-one
Sophia
Ryan plates the mac and cheese with a flourish, then pours each of us a glass of wine. We sit down at the table, and I take a bite of the pasta. It's cheesy and delicious, the breadcrumbs adding a perfect crunch.
"This is amazing," I say, grinning at him.
"I told you it was my specialty," he says with a wink. "And... well, the only thing I can make."
We eat in comfortable silence for a while, the dogs lying under the table and watching us hopefully. It's peaceful and quiet, and I can feel Ryan's eyes on me as we eat. I'm still dying to tell him the truth—that I didn't take Plan B, that we've been having unprotected sex, that my period is late, and the future is rushing toward us...
...but I want to feel this out.
To figure out if he actually wants a family or if he truly thinks he's too old.
And it's only been a few weeks. I can't uproot my life for this guy, can I?
"It's been really great seeing you with your family," I tell him as I finish up my plate. "Your parents and your cousin...they all love you."
"Well, they kind of have to," he chuckles. "I'm their son."
"That's not all, though," I say. "You're the one who shows up, Ryan. You're a caretaker. I saw it when I got mugged...I saw it with Tex. Now you're doing it again. You're such a good person...and I think you would make an amazing father."
He fixes his gaze on me, and the smolder in his eyes is so intense that I feel myself squirming in my seat. My belly is full of food, and my heart is full of him. I want him, body and soul.
I stand up from the table and walk over to him, my heart pounding. He stands up, too, and we're so close that I can feel the heat radiating off of him. He looks down at me, his eyes dark and intense.
"Sophia," he murmurs, his voice low and rough.
I take a step forward, closing the distance between us. His hands come up to cup my face, his thumbs stroking my cheeks gently. I lean into his touch, my eyes fluttering closed.
"I know it's fast; it's all been fast..." I start. "But I would love to have a family with you. Fuck, the idea of having your baby gets me so fucking turned on..."
