Page 19 of From Jerk to Perk


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“Because I answered her.”

Oof. I wasn’t going to say that. At least not yet.

“YOU DID WHAT?” Levi launches to his feet again, this time really on the brink of losing his shit.

Even though he’s always been on the dramatic side. That’s a writer for you.

“Yeah. I was gonna tell you. Look, I won’t give you away. I told her my name is Dorothy. She probably thinks I’m some dirty old lady, spinning tales about my wildest fantasies.”

Levi drops his head to his chest and his arms hang loosely, like he’s accepted defeat. “You told her your name wasDorothy?”

I nod. I thought that was pretty clever. “I did. I had to think fast. Dorothy was my grandmother. You remember her, don’t you?—”

“You’d better get me out of this Wyatt, so help me?—”

I cut off his threats. He’s not doing shit to me. “As I was trying to say… Amalia invited me to discuss the book over dinner. I’m meeting her tomorrow, after I go to the gym.”

Levi’s mouth drops open, then closes without a sound. Finally, he gets his voice back. “I should punch you for this, Wy. This is not some dot com startup where you can what whatever the fuck you want. And dude, I don’t have the money you do. I didn’t make a killing when I was twenty-two, like you. I can’t absorb a failure. My career is just taking off. Decent money is about to start rolling in for me. Right, Hen?”

Henry nods, and we are silent out of respect.

“What the hell do you think she’s going to do when you walk in and she realizes there is no Dorothy? She’s going to be suspicious as hell, that’s what. She’s going to dig deeper, and she’s going to find me. I know it.”

The man is all kinds of fucked up. I feel badly about that. I do.

“Levi,” I say softly, “we are going to get this under control. In fact, Ihaveit under control. You will be fine. I will protect you. Sending out that book was a bone-headed move that I didn’t think through. I will make it right. You’ll see.”

And I’ll also get to have dinner with the lovely Amalia Plum.

11

WYATT

I enterthe restaurant with an admitted advantage. I know what Amalia Plum looks like. I spot her as soon as I arrive. But she has no idea who I am because she’s looking for a woman named Dorothy, like I told her to.

I take a seat at the bar, where I have a clear view of my dinner date as she sips her ice water and checks her phone. She’s shifting in her seat, I’d like to think because she’s nervous, and keeps craning her neck toward the front door.

“A Stella, please,” I tell the bartender.

It’s so unfair, spying like this. And yet I can’t help myself.

Yeah, I can be a dick that way.

Soon enough, she’ll know who I am. But in the next few minutes before she does, I plan to enjoy observing her completely anonymously. Hell, I could sit here all night, watching her. At least until she leaves.

She’d be pissed, for sure, if I stood her up. Not that I would.

She looks different from her LinkedIn profile. Softer, like the goth vibe was played up in the photo. In person, her eyes arebeautiful, sparkly even, and her bright red bow lips are glossy and delicious. Her haircut, chin length and swingy with short bangs, is less severe, less Cleopatra-like than I expected. And the way she’s looking around for me is so goddamn cute, it’s giving me a boner.

Jesus, guy.

She’s going to be surprised when we meet, and when she finds out there is no Dorothy, she might be pissed. Can’t blame her. No one likes to be lied to. But I threw out my grandmother’s name in a moment of panic, not really expecting to ever come face to face. Yet here I am.

Levi’s instructions were clear, no doubt. I was tasked withgetting rid of her,whatever that means, throwing her off the scent, like prey evading a hunting dog.

What will I tell her about how I came across the book? And how will I explain why I sent it to her company?

I’m not even sure why I did, except that at the time it seemed funny as hell. All I could think was, wouldn’t it be great if Levi published something like this because God knows his stuff that people are crowing about right now puts me right into a deep sleep.

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