Page 29 of From Jerk to Perk


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Mom, a tall blonde beauty, is a hot commodity in her circle. Men flock to her like moths to a flame thanks to her relentless workout schedule and visits to the city’s top plastic surgeons.

“So who are you bringing to the wedding?” she asks conspiratorially.

My shoulders drop. “No one.”

Although that Wyatt guy would make some great eye candy, driving my cousins on the bitchy side of the family wild with envy.

But I’m not that shallow. Not completely, anyway.

Mom gets the check while I’m still eating my burger and fries, having finished her house salad with no dressing five minutes after she was served. “C’mon. We need to go try on some bridesmaid dresses for you.”

I shove my last few fries into my mouth and follow her out, down to the fancy dress department.

When she started talking about my needing a new dress for her wedding, I asked why I couldn’t just wear one from one of her past weddings. Seems like a no-brainer to me. They’re all just hanging there in one of the closets in her house, begging to be worn again.

Turns out, that’s not how it’s done. And boy did I get in trouble for my ‘insensitivity.’ She didn’t speak to me for days.

She told me I clearly ‘don’t understand what weddings are all about,’ because if I did, I’d be aware you don’t bring things from a previous wedding into a new one.

Sounds like an old wives’ tale to me, but what do I know? Every time I’ve stood up for her at one of her weddings, I’ve been sure that this is ‘the one’ that’s going to stick.

I follow her around the store, dutifully trying on every dress she wants me to until I use the excuse that I have to get back to work because I’m working on acquiring a very sexy erotic romance novel.

Mom turns her nose up, of course, and I vow that if the thing ever does end up being published, God willing, she’ll be the first person I give a copy to.

Signed and dedicated.

17

AMALIA

Daisy grabsmy hand from across the back seat of the cab we’re riding in on the way to yet another signing for the wunderkind that is Levi Maverick. “Thank you for bringing me, Amalia, I mean it. I really needed to get out of the house and do something.” She begged to come, and since I’m not really working this event, just attending, I figured what’s the harm?

“Don’t make me regret this, Daisy.”

And her excuse ‘she needs to get out of the house’ makes me roll my eyes so hard it hurts. We both know why she’s attending tonight—because she thinks she might meet a wealthy man.

Wait till she finds out a famous published author does not equal drowning in dough. I tried to tell her, I did. But she was fixated after seeing Levi’s picture online.

Heisgood-looking, I’ll give him that. And he might be rich someday, like when they make a movie out of one of his books. But until then, the dude’s still drinking Budweiser. And wearing weird socks.

She nudges me. “Hey, do you think that’s his real name, Levi Maverick? It sounds kind of… made up, don’t you think?”

It sounds totally made up. I’ve never had the chance to ask, but I hear it’s real. I don’t spend much time with the man, even if he did help me set up at his last signing event.

Daisy pokes me. “What’s wrong, Amalia? You look tired.”

My head is dropped back on the seat and I’m staring out the car window like a zombie. “I am tired, Daisy, you’re right.” I lower my voice so the driver doesn’t hear. “You have to stop watching porn so loud. It’s keeping me awake.”

“Oh, is that all it is? I thought maybe you were sick or something. I gotta tell you, that sexy book you have has got me on edge, girl. I can’t help it. You know what? I’ll get headphones. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. You won’t hear my porn anymore.”

The cabbie glances back at us, then adjusts his mirror for a better look at Daisy.

As soon as we arrive, Daisy takes off across the room to scope out the ‘talent.’ I wave in Cameron’s direction, not because I am happy to see him but so he knows I showed up and am a good team player.

As if I really had a choice.

Looking for the free wine, I run smack into the notorious book critic and sometime stalker, Julius Bird.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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