Page 34 of From Jerk to Perk


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I look at the guy and want nothing more than to knock the smug off his face.

“I don’t think I do. Hello, Adam,” I say, not offering my hand.

He nods.

“Hey, Henry, I saw you talking to that girl from Empire Ink Press. The one with the funky hair and combat boots?”

“Yes,” I say, my voice flat and disinterested.

“She’s a total lightweight, darling. I wouldn’t bother with her.”

My skin crawls with anger and disgust, both toward this woman and myself. For fuck’s sake, how did I ever marry her? Such a grade-A insufferable bitch.

“Andee, do you really have to talk about people that way?—”

She cuts me off. “Look, Henry, I know you’re not the best judge of character.”

Yeah, no shit. I marriedyou,after all, I want to say.

“That girl was fired from her last job,” she says with wide eyes, like she’s sharing some important tidbit of news.

I look at her guy to see if he thinks she’s as crazy as I do.

He does not. The fool is hanging on her every word.

“How is that even remotely your business, Andee?”

She ignores the question, and the unpleasantness of being married to her comes flooding back. “She punched another employee. That’s why she was fired,” she says with complete satisfaction.

She clearly expects me to be as outraged as she is but, for the second time today, I find myself stifling laughter.

Amalia punched someone at work? Fucking awesome. I’m sure they deserved it. It’s just too bad she was fired over it.

Or is it?

If she hadn’t been, I might never have met her. None of us guys would have.

“And she only got her job because of her mother’s connections.” She scoffs and looks at her dude, who nods like an obedient dog. “We’ll see how long she lasts there.”

She takes a sip of her wine and surveys the crowd.

I try not to hate anyone. I really do. But in the case of Andee, I make an exception.

“If you’re done eviscerating someone you don’t even know, I’ll be going.”

Her mouth falls open and her guy stiffens.

Really? Are these people really that clueless?

Actually, maybe I should thank them. They’ve made me more determined than ever to help Amalia. I head toward Levi’s table to tell him to get a move on.

We’re going to have a talk.

20

AMALIA

“Hello, Amalia.”

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