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As Cameron reads and re-reads the article, he mouths the words in a whisper like he has to convince himself they’re real, that they’re right before him in black and white, and that this isn’t some mean joke being played on him, or me, or Empire Ink Press.
And if it’s true, like it seems pretty fucking obvious that it is, what does that mean for the manuscript? And Empire’s romance division? And Levi?
Andme?
“How… how did you find this, Ralph?” I ask in a shaking voice.
His eyes are wide and dart around the room. He might be the messenger but that won’t stop Cameron from shooting him. Metaphorically, anyway. “I saw a bunch of people gathered at the newsstand and I heard Levi’s name mentioned. I was curious, of course, so got closer, pretending to look at the day’s papers. When I saw what they were talking about, I grabbed an issue and raced back here as fast as I could.”
He looks at me in a mixture of sympathy and despair. He knows I stand to take the biggest brunt of this hit, after Levi, of course, but that it will also affect everyone here at Empire.
We look at Cameron, bracing for his wrath.
“If his book, the Ryder Night book, is pulled, you are out on the street, Plum. You did this, didn’t you? You leaked this so we’d have to go through with publishing his stupid little romance, so there’d be no backing out, and so you’d get all the kudos for discovering a new romance author. Didn’t you?”
“I… I… didn’t. I’d… never do something like that,” I stumble, shocked at the accusation.
Cameron looks at me with disgust. Pure, unadulterated disgust.
Ralph’s eyes widen in horror and I’m grateful for his solidarity. I want to hug him, and in fact am pretty sure when all is said and done, he’ll be my only remaining friend in the whole of New York publishing.
The shaking and nausea start to fade, thank God, but leave me with a sense of dread that feels like someone is sitting on my chest. I try for a long, slow breath to get it under control. It doesn’t work.
“Who would do this?” Cameron spits. “Who?”
Wracking my brain, I shake my head. “The only people who knew are those of us in this room,” I say.
Cameron’s head snaps back on his neck. “Are you implying… so help me, Plum...”
Ralph gets to his feet. “Now come on, everyone, let’s discuss this like adults.”
“Get out,” Cameron screams in his face. “You too, Plum. Both of you. Get back to your desks and clean this fucking mess up.”
He storms out of the conference room, and while Ralph is not exactly in the direct line of fire, he clearly shares my pain. “I’m really sorry, Amalia. I’m sorry word got out. In case Levi wants to pull the book, well, I think I may be able to help you a little. It’s not much but I got a lead on a new romance author that I could throw your way. She’s only got one book so far, and it’s okay. With some work, I was thinking it could be pretty good…”
“Thank… thank you, Ralph,” I sputter, my eyes filling with tears.
I don’t like crying in front of people. I never do it, if I can help it. But Ralph’s kind words in contrast to Cameron’s wrath have thrown me for a loop, and big fat tears dribble down my cheeks, taking with them gobs of the black shit I wear around my eyes.I know it’s a matter of seconds before I have rivers of makeup running down my face, and I really don’t give a shit.
I’m falling, like the abyss of despair that’s never far from my consciousness somehow got moved right smack in front of me and some fucker pushed me over its edge, as if I really needed the help.
I’ve pretty much always been hovering on the edge of this bullshit and have known I’d eventually get sucked in no matter how hard I tried to keep myself out. It’s always been inevitable, and it looks like it’s finally happened.
46
AMALIA
I runfrom my cab to Wyatt’s front door, where he texted me that he and the guys are holing up after receiving the bad news.
Somehow, they got it before I did.
I’m in such a panic I can’t remember Wyatt’s door code, so I just press his name repeatedly, hoping they are willing to let me in.
The front door buzzes open and the elevator direct to Wyatt’s apartment is waiting for me. I jump inside and on the quick ride to the third floor, I do my best to clean my smeared makeup with spit and the tips of my fingers.
Before I left the office, Ralph reiterated his offer of help, that of throwing a little something my way that might stave off my firing. Until now, I’ve never seen him as much of an ally, not really. I assured him his kindness was appreciated.
I turned him down though.
