Page 83 of From Jerk to Perk


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There are a lot of things I’d like right now, including having a bucket of ice dropped over my head, but braids and weed are not two of them. So I dive into the warm water again and swim out a ways. When they realize I’m not worth the effort, the kids give me the finger and amble on down the beach.

“Well, ain’t this just a fucking paradise?” Levi sighs after he swims over to me.

“Man. Next time I offer to take us on a trip, will you remind me to check the weather first?” I ask.

Levi leans back in the ocean to float. “Seriously. I thought this place would be temperate. Like, never hot, never cold. How dumb is that? But hey, thank you, Wyatt. I don’t want you to think I don’t appreciate this. It was very generous of you to spring for this trip and it does feel good to be out of the city for a few days and away from reminders of... things.”

I get it. The man has a load on his mind not limited to being the laughing stock of his shitty literary world, and being on the outs with Amalia.

Well, that last one applies to us all.

And my vegetarian restaurant app is stalled. To be honest, I’ve kind of just lost interest in it with all that’s going on.

We lay floating, our eyes closed against the blaring sun, not talking because that’s all we’ve done for the past few days. We’re sick of it and sick of each other and if we don’t get out of here soon I’m afraid we may be sick of it all forever.

“I just don’t know how it got out, you know, that I wrote that book,” Levi.

I know he doesn’t know. That’s all he’s said, over and over again, for the past several days.

“I just want to know. I want to know who betrayed me.”

I want to know too. In fact, even though we agreed to leave Amalia alone for a while, per her request, I’ve continued to text her on the down-low. She hasn’t responded, but I think she will. Eventually. She just needs time to… get her head on straight. She can help us solve the mystery. At least I hope she can.

Levi pulling his Ryder Night book will probably result in her getting fired. And when he accused her of the leak, he dug himself in even deeper.

And because the three of us are essentially a package deal, well, that was the end of our happy but short-lived little foursome. Which bums me the fuck out.

On the other hand, I’m not sure any of us really deserved her.

Henry is still so burned by his ex-wife, I doubt he’ll ever be available to another woman for much more than a good fuck. It’s a shame because he’s a good guy. But that Andee screwed him up big time and he’s still stinging from it. Probably always will.

Levi’s obsessed with his freaking career and all that that entails, including the impressions of the pricks who are now eviscerating him because he wrote a hot romance. A bag of dicks they are, if you ask me.

And then there’s me. Sure, I’m loaded, but it’s because I got lucky—real lucky—when I was still practically a kid. My app hitbig at just the time there was demand for it and I pretty much haven’t done shit ever since. I can’t even seem to go vegetarian right. Last night after trying to choke down some funky plantain dish, I ordered a bucket of chicken wings and ate every last one.

So why would a kick-ass woman like Amalia want to be saddled with us guys? She might be in a tough spot right now, in fact I am sure she is, but she’ll claw her way out of it. I know she will. She’s got the brains and the balls.

That’s not saying I won’t miss her, though. In fact, I already do.

Last night, after the temperatures cooled a couple degrees, the guys and I ventured out for some beers. Not surprisingly, a bunch of ladies on a girls’ trip chatted us up. None of us were the least bit interested. Not even former man-whoreme.

Surprised the hell out of us all.

Next day, it’s thankfully cool enough to take the jungle hike we’d planned on. Our guide picks us up and we bushwhack through all manner of foliage until Henry has had enough and explodes.

At the head of the line, he turns like a madman, his face dripping in sweat from the humidity, his hair plastered to his face. There are smudges of dirt all over his ill-chosen white T-shirt and splashes of mud on his hiking boots, up to his calves. A couple mosquito bites on his arms are starting to look really itchy and he’s not helping my scratching them with a vengeance.

I suppose I look the same, that we all do, but coupled with his supremely pissed-off expression, he’s actually kind of hilarious. I would have taken a photo if I didn’t think he’d murder me.

“This. Is. Not. Fun,” he hollers.

Our guide’s eyes grow wide and he takes a step back. I guess he’s seen this before.

I take a step closer to the guide. If he feels the need to take off, he sure as hell isn’t leaving me here to rot in the jungle.

“Sir, would you like to head back? We have an easier hike—” the guide tries to offer.

Henry takes a menacing step toward Levi. “All this is your fault, Maverick. You said yes to publishing your book, then you said no, and now the best thing to happen to us in a long time is paying the price.”

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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