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Before I hang up on his sorry ass, I try to explain how many people he’s hurt by alerting the whole of New York about this little piece of news, but he rightly points out it’s really Cameron who got the ball rolling, and the fact that he did this to one of his most promising clients shows what a loser he is.
Good point. I hate them both anyway.
He may have messed up my job, but messing up what I had, or thought I had, with the guys, is far worse. It’s like he stole it from me. I don’t like that.
The minute I get home from work, I crawl into bed. I don’t even undress, except for my boots, and pull my comforter up to my chin.
Before I got home, however, I did something very important. Snagged a box of donuts from Dunkin’. That’s right.
I don’t know how much time has passed when I finally flip over in bed, achy from laying in the same position for too long, probably well on my way to developing bed sores. I can tell from the light in my room that the neon sign on the shop across the street is turned off, so that lets me know it’s after nine-ish. I reach for another piece of donut and stuff it in my mouth.
Lying in bed and eating donuts—that’s about as shitty as shitty can get.
Daisyactually told me to get it together. Never thought I’d hear words like that come out of the mouth of the world’s biggest underachiever. I saw her briefly when she was back in the apartment picking up some clean underwear—mine, no doubt—when she explained she’s massively in love with her new dog-walker boyfriend, and that they’re going to expand his business together. She’s turned over a new leaf, having realized chasing after rich guys is no way to live, and that she’s never been treated better in her life by this new guy, who is poor—in her words. The best part is they are reading like crazy, talking about books, and on the lookout for new ones.
I’m happy for her. I really am. At least someone’s life is not totally in the shitter.
Before she heads out, she plops down on the edge of my bed. Her wild red hair fans down around her shoulders, and she looks so damn cute and happy. She flicks on my nightstand lamp.
I was enjoying the dark. It suited my mood.
“What’s up with the… situation?” she asks.
I squeeze my eyes shut like that might make it all go away. “Oh, Dais,” I groan. “As if things weren’t already bad enough, it’s all over social media that Levi writes porn in his spare time. The conservative readers are calling him a disgusting perv, and the progressive ones are calling him a hypocrite for trying to hide it.”
She pops a piece of donut into her mouth and rubs my shoulder. “Cripes. Guy can’t win.”
I shake my head. “What’s worse is that he knew this could happen. And I pressured him into publishing anyway, just to save my job. I should have listened to him, followed his instincts. Instead, I was selfish, and after all this, I’m losing my job anyway.”
Her eyes widen. “Has your boss said anything?”
I turn onto my back and stare at the water stain on my ceiling. “Not yet. He’s drawing it out. Ignoring me, giving me the cold shoulder, that sort of thing. He wants to make sure I am at my absolute lowest when he shares the news.”
“What a fucking sadist.”
“Exactly.”
“And what’s up with… the guys?” she asks cautiously.
I push myself up in bed. If I don’t go to the bathroom soon, I’ll pee myself.
“Well, whatever I had going with them is dead in the water. I’ve gotten some texts from Wyatt, but I’m just ignoring them. Why drag out the inevitable? I ruined Levi’s career. The three of them are thick as thieves, so they’re done with me.”
I study my chipped nail polish and try to swallow away a lump in my throat, but it does no good. Tears run down my cheeks and when I wipe them away, my sleeve is covered in black mascara. I really need to wear less makeup.
“Amalia, you were happy with them. Like really happy. I don’t know if you realized it, but I could totally see it. It was like you were a new person.”
Just what I don’t need to hear. I sniff loudly and Daisy passes me a tissue.
“I know you were having great sex with them too, you lucky dog, but that’s not all there was to it. There was more there. I can tell.”
I nod, blubbering like the idiot that I am. “I know Dais, I know. And now it’s all gone. Kaput. Over as fast as it got started.”
“Maybe you could?—”
I wave her suggestion away before she even makes it. I know where she’s going. “They’re better off without me, Dais.”
“Amalia, this is not your fault. You have to believe that. You didn’t expose Levi. Your asshole boss did, and he leaked it to the town crier, that critic guy. He knew what would happen. He set everybody up. He shouldn’t get away with this. It’s not right.”
