Page 90 of From Jerk to Perk


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Immature? Maybe. Do I give a fuck? Nope.

She laughs nervously. “No need to be nasty, Henry. What are you doing with that girl, anyway?”

I try to calm myself. “Nothing I do with anyone, ever, is any of your business. But I can tell you one thing I’mnotgoing to do, since you’re so concerned, and that’s make the same mistake I made last time, with you.”

She gasps.

“Is there anything else, Andee? Any other advice you want to offer me? Since you yourself are such afineperson?”

“Um—”

“Great. See ya.”

I swipe my phone closed and the interesting thing about that little gesture with my forefinger is that I feel like I’m also sweeping some of the garbage out of my life.

Some garbage called Andee.

I join Wyatt and Levi, whose conversation is sounding pretty fucking tense.

“I’m telling you, Levi. That sexy thing you wrote was really good. It was steamy, yeah, but it also had heart. Personally, I think it’s the first really good thing you’ve written,” Wyatt insists.

Uh-oh. This could get ugly. I take a seat between the guys, hoping I can change the trajectory of the conversation.

“Fuck off, Wy,” Levi groans.

Wyatt waves him away. “Okay. Fine. You may be right. What the hell do you know about romance, anyway? Or women, for that matter? Tell me, that book, that Ryder Night book, it was torture to write it, right? It was horrible and took a tremendous amount of work too, right? You hated every second of it?”

He looks at Levi, who’s trying to muster an answer. He doesn’t get to give it.

Wyatt continues his goading. “Okay, then. No, it wasn’t so bad, writing it, just as I thought. And what does that tell you? What does that say? How ‘bout maybe you write another? And if that goes well, write another after that.”

Levi stares back at Wyatt. I’m not sure whether he wants to hug him or hit him.

Maybe both.

52

HENRY

“We’ve hardly leftmy place since we got back from Jamaica,” Wyatt says. “The mosquito bites I got on that jungle trek have finally stopped itching. Let’s go do something.”

“That’s because you went to urgent care for them, wimp,” Levi says.

Wyatt frowns. “I can’t help it if I have skeeter syndrome.”

Levi glances my way, which I wish he had not, and we both burst out laughing like we did the first time Wyatt said anything about ‘skeeter syndrome.’ Turns out it’s a real thing, and Wyatt may or may not have a terrible allergy to mosquito bites, but he sure acted like he was going to die from them.

“Seriously, Wy. I’ve never seen anyone whine quite so much about a few mosquito bites,” I say.

“Whatever, guys. I’m over this moping bullshit. And we never would have taken off for Jamaica if not for your Amalia problem, anyway,” Wyatt says.

Levi straightens in his seat.

Uh-oh. Here we go again.

“What do you meanmyAmalia problem? I was not the only one involved with her, in case you forgot.”

“No shit. But you’re the one who got us into this predicament. The no-more-Amalia predicament.”

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