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“Looking for your boyfriend?” Holls shouted as he sat down beside me.
“Shut up, Iain.”
He raised his glass and yelled out over the din of the rock music. “Come on, Dee. Clearly, you got some action earlier. You should be relaxed.”
I looked around, but in the packed room with the noise level, no one was paying us any particular attention.
“Can you please lower your voice? He and I are brand fucking new, and not to mention, there’s the issue of Greg finding out.”
Holls leaned in close to me and whisper-shouted. “Tell me everything.”
“Not here. Except to say holy fucking shit.” I held up my still trembling hands as proof.
“He’s a good kisser, right? Van’s got nice lips. And he’s so thorough about everything he does. I bet—”
I shoved his arm. “Don’t goad me. I’m not above kicking your ass.”
“Kicking or kissing it? ’Cause I have to say, I’d prefer the first.”
“Where’s Ronin and Faise?” I asked, changing the topic.
After we’d done our photographs as a band and individually, we’d all celebrated with several rounds of drinks. But then our bassist and our drummer disappeared. And I hadn’t seen them since.
Holls motioned to the left with his glass. “Over there, one of the corner booths. They’re in some deep discussion. I think it’s about Rae.”
I shook my head. “I feel so bad about his brother. I wonder if there’s anything else we can do to help.”
“Give Faise the time he needs after this. We don’t have to be in the studio until the new year.”
I nodded. “Yeah. I was thinking a month off, but you’re right. Two months will do us good. I’ll work on songs with Van.”
“On a serious note, how will this play out with him?”
I turned to face Holls. “What do you mean?”
“If you’re in a relationship with him, how’s that gonna go? Are you going to tell Greg? What if Greg fires him? Or if Van stays on, and you guys end up breaking up, what then? Do we get another manager? Because that’s not optimal. I really like Van, we all do, and he’s rare in this business. Someone who’s smart as fuck but also completely trustworthy. I don’t want to jeopardize that.”
“What the fuck, Iain?”
“I’m being a realist, Dee. Come on. When was the last time you had a relationship with someone you fucked?”
I crossed my arms, my party mood taking a serious nosedive.
“Exactly. Never. I hate to burst your love bubble, but you need to think about this shit.”
“I don’t want to think about it,” I bit back. “There’s nothing to think about. I told you I’m ready for this. He’s what I want.”
“I know that. But there are realities here you need to consider. What happens if Van gets another job or Greg re-assigns him? You’re on the road most of the year. Are you going to do long distance?”
I hadn’t thought about that. I didn’t want to.
It never occurred to me that there would come a day when Van wasn’t working with us. He’d always been there. My anchor, my rock.
I leaned forward, placing my head in my hands.
Was Iain right?
Was this what Van was trying to tell me earlier? He said he didn’t want to fuck things up.
