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Of her at seventeen-years-old leaving her family for Aveline.
For me.
I didn’t know if I would ever be able to fully forgive myself for leaving her. For thinking I’d known what had been best for her.
But I was going to try my hardest to make up for it.
SIXTY-NINE
JANUARY 2018
TUCK
It seemedlike we spent most of our time together over the next few weeks, learning about the new parts of ourselves and remembering the old ones. Somehow, it felt like no time had passed. We fell right back into each other as though we had spent the last decade together, and it was easy. Lettie and I had always been easy together.
Christmas came, and Lettie and I spent the holiday with the whole town of Aveline. We served at the community dinner together and ate an amazing Christmas brunch with Teddy and Lenora, and Lenora’s famous Pluck-It cake. When New Year’s Eve came, we celebrated in the center of town with music and a countdown. Lettie and I locked lips at midnight, and I made a silent wish that nothing would ruin the promise of our relationship.
I was still working on the house on Peach Street, but instead of sleeping on the mattress in the living room, I was staying with Lettie more often than not. Gilbert had taken a liking to me, but the two of us still seemed to fight over the seat next to Lettie on the couch. Every once in a while, he would win, and I would find myself sitting in the chair across the way as Lettie shrugged and pet him on the head.
“I’m a little offended over here,” I said as I watched Lettie’s dog stare at me with a look of smug arrogance.
Lettie looked over at me. “And why is that?”
I sighed dramatically. “Well, I always thoughtIwas the Gilbert to your Anne, but now you have anactualGilbert and I’m sitting over here on the chair all alone like chopped liver.”
Lettie laughed and got up from her spot on the couch. She moved to the chair and wrapped her legs around me, sitting on my lap facing me. “Someone’s feeling a little jealous.”
I ran my hands up her back. “Can you blame me? I want you all to myself. I can’t help it.” I pulled her in and kissed her. I moved my lips to her shoulder and bit gently before I ran my fingers up and down her back and into her hair. I pulled her against me again. I couldn’t stop kissing her. I couldn’t get enough of her.
When I’d moved back to town, I’d never imagined that Lettie and I could have ever picked up where we’d left off. I had thought she would hate me, and I wouldn’t have blamed her. I hated myself for what I had done to her. But Lettie had shown my eighteen-year-old self grace and kindness. She hadn’t held a grudge or thought I was unworthy of forgiveness. Instead, she’d given me a second chance, and I realized that maybe I should do the same for myself.
“Thank you,” I whispered to her.
“For what?” she asked.
“For forgiving me.” I traced my thumb along her jaw. “For not hating me when you had every right to.”
Lettie smiled as she placed her hand on my cheek. “I could never hate you, Tuck. I couldn’t even hate you when I desperatelywantedto hate you. I’m pretty sure I love you more than anyone else in the entire world. I have since we met that summer.”
A wide grin spread across my face. “I’m pretty sure I love you even more than that.”
She ran her hands through my hair and stared deeply into my eyes. The green of hers practically glowing. “I sometimes wonder if our baby would have had your eyes.” She paused. “I used to think about it all the time.” She cozied up in the chair with me, and I wrapped my arms around her, attempting to comfort her in the way I hadn’t all those years before. “But I had to sort of shut it all out because I couldn’t breathe whenever it would cross my mind.”
A pit was growing in my stomach. “I wish I had been there. I’m sorry that I wasn’t.”
“You didn’t know.”
“No, but I should have been there for you.” I kissed the top of her head. “I’ve thought about it a lot lately.”
“Really?” she asked. “You have?”
“Yeah,” I replied. “I’ve wondered if it would have been a boy or a girl. What it would have looked like.” I watched as she wiped away a tear under her eye.
“I’ve wondered that too.”
“Maybe, one day, we’ll get another chance,” I said, knowing that Lettie would make a wonderful mother.
She peered up at me through her eyelashes. “I think that would be nice.”
