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“And you’re still a shameless flirt.”
He laughed.“Hey, it’s worked for me.”
“I bet it has.I bet you have lots of Canadian football groupies at your beck and call.”
His smile died, his eyes serious.“None that feel like home.”
She felt it too.The comfortable feeling of knowing someone since childhood.All the shared memories.All the shared growing pains.But that was all there was.There was no rapid heartbeat.No breathless longing.No feeling like he saw her for who she really was.
Only Decker gave her those feelings.
But that didn’t stop her from caring about Jace.They had shared a lot together.
“So when did you get back?”she asked.
“I got in late this afternoon.”
“You’ve seen Deck?”
“Yeah.I’m staying with him.”
She couldn’t help feeling a little ticked.A warning text from Decker would have been nice.“So I guess he told you I was back in town.”
“Actually, one of my mama’s friends called her and said you were here.”He frowned.“She also said the townsfolk are still holding a grudge about what happened.Which is why I’m here.I wanted to apologize in person.”
“Apologize?It’s not your fault that the townsfolk hold grudges.”
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he looked out at the night.“Yeah, it is.I blamed you for what happened as much as the townsfolk did and that was wrong.”He looked back at her.“You breaking up with me didn’t cause me to lose those games, Sweetie.I jumped on that excuse because I couldn’t admit the real truth ...I had crumbled under the pressure.When the college football scouts started calling and showing up to the games, my nerves got the best of me.That’s what caused me to lose those games.Not a broken heart.And I should have said that when the town started shunning you.Instead, I said nothing because I didn’t want folks to think I was just a scared kid.”
“We were both scared kids.I wasn’t blameless either.I picked the worst possible time to break it off with you and embarrassed you in front of the entire town.”
“You should have broken it off with me sooner.I was a shitty boyfriend who couldn’t think of anything but football.You deserved better.”
It was nice to have the confirmation, but he needed to know the truth.“You were pretty wrapped up in football, but that’s not the reason I broke up with you.The summer before our senior year, I had started to feel invisible.Like I didn’t have an identity.I was Hank Holiday’s oldest daughter.One of six sisters.Jace Carson’s girl.But I was never just me.In order to just be me I needed space from my family.From you.From the town.”She hesitated as she looked out at the ranch.“I guess sometimes you have to leave everything you know to figure out who you really are.”
As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she realized how true they were.She’d had to leave Wilder.She’d had to leave a daddy who saw her as the daughter who would take over the family ranch to discover that she loved her family’s ranch.It was her home.She’d had to leave five sisters who she’d tried so hard to be the perfect role model for to discover that her sisters didn’t need a perfect role model.They just needed a sister who would always be there for them.She’d had to leave a boyfriend who the entire town had expected her to marry to discover the type of man she did want to marry.
Because if she hadn’t left, she never would have discovered all those things when she finally came home.She knew who she was now.She was a woman who loved writing country songs—just not singing those songs on stage.She was the oldest Holiday sister who loved her family and intended to make sure her career goals never got in the way of spending time with them again.She was a woman who had fallen head over heels in love with her ex-boyfriend’s cousin.
She didn’t realize she was sitting there grinning like a Cheshire cat until Jace pointed it out.
“By the look on your face, I’d say you’ve figured out who you are.I guess being a country singer agrees with you.”
“Actually, I couldn’t make it as a country singer and it took me twelve years to discover that I didn’t really want to.It turns out that all along I was chasing the wrong dream.How stupid is that?”
“Not stupid at all.Dreams have a way of tricking you.”
“Yours didn’t.You’ve always known what you wanted.”
Jace’s eyes turned sad.“Yeah.I’ve always known.”He lifted a hand and smoothed her hair away from her face.“I know I didn’t say it enough, but I really did love you, Sweetie Holiday.”
Her heart ached for the two innocent kids they’d once been.“I loved you too, Jace.I still do.”
He sighed.“Just not enough.”
“I don’t think either one us ever loved each other enough.If we had, I wouldn’t have left.”She smiled.“And you wouldn’t have let me.But that doesn’t mean we can’t love each other as friends.”She leaned in and kissed his cheek.The sound of an approaching car had her pulling back and looking at the road.
Just the sight of Jace’s old truck had Sweetie’s heart leaping.When Decker got out with sleep-tousled hair and wearing nothing but a pair of faded jeans, it leaped even more.All she wanted to do was run to him and confess her love.But then he stepped into the spill of porch light and she read the anger written all over his face.
