Page 18 of If We Say Goodbye


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“You know, just in case you decide you want to jump out,” he says. “Better safe than sorry.”

“Jumping out of a bus isn’t a good idea,” Jordy says.

I roll my eyes. “It wasn’t even moving.”

“Well, it’s good to know you haven’t totally lost it,” Caleb says.

I don’t reply.

All three of us stay quiet until Caleb rolls into the parking lot of Jordy’s school.

“We are five whole minutes late,” Jordy says, holding up his hand, wiggling all five fingers. “Five.”

“Hurry up and get out or it’ll turn into six,” Caleb says.

Jordy shuffles out. “You better pick me up on time.”

Caleb nods and waves him off. As Jordy passes by my window, he glares at me, driving home the point I made him late.

I look away and rub the back of my neck with my hand.

Caleb starts to drive again once Jordy reaches the entrance doors. I can already see the silhouette of the high school on the horizon. It’s maybe a three to four minute drive from the elementary school, and that’s with traffic.

“So . . .” Caleb says, slicing through the thick silence. “The answer is no. I don’t have a girlfriend. That is, unless you want to change that.”

I choke on air. No matter how much I cough, I can’t seem to clear my throat.

“I mean, I already take your breath away.”

I smack my chest with a fist to relieve the pressure. When my airway finally remembers how to work, my mouth forms a hard line, and I shift my weight away from him—closer to the door.

“I’m just kidding.”

I only grumble in response.

“I mean, you’re definitely missing out, but you and I, we’d probably kill each other.”

“You’d go first,” I mumble.

“Whatever you say, Bec.”

I stay quiet, prepared to jump out of the car as soon as it stops.

As we roll into the parking lot, Caleb says, “I can give you a ride home too, if you want.”

I shake my head. “No, that’s okay. I’ll figure something else out.”

CHAPTERSIX

I’ve walkeddown this hallway a million times, but it’s different this time. The gray floor and blue lockers are still the same, but everyone, and I mean everyone, falls silent when I walk in. Way too many eyes focus on me, and most of them don’t bother to hide their pity.

I keep my head down, hoodie-less thanks to our school’s dress code. I aim for my first period class instead of my locker because I just want to sit down and get away from as many people as I can. Besides, my locker is at the other end of the hall. Why burn more calories than necessary?

Even though it’s crowded beyond belief, I have an invisible bubble pushing my classmates out of my way. They part like the Red Sea.

Sadie.

I don’t mean to make eye contact, but I do—for a half second. She’s leaning against her locker wearing Ethan’s green jacket. Her red hair is cropped just below her chin, and her black eyeliner is so thick I can see it from here.

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