Page 24 of If We Say Goodbye


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“Just open the door.”

I crack it open slightly, not wanting to show off my horrific appearance just yet. “What?”

In his hands is a bright blue athletic shirt with one of those annoyingly positive quotes on the front—Make Today Awesome.“I brought an extra shirt for weights, but you can use it.” He holds it out. “I didn’t wear it yet. I promise it’s clean.”

“You want me to wear that?” My nose scrunches up.

He holds it out to me with a gentle smile. “Yup.”

It’s definitely not something I’d ever wear by choice, but right now, it looks way more appealing than the grease smeared sweatshirt I have on.

I open the door enough for my hand to poke through and snag the shirt. Once it’s pulled through to the other side, I slam the door shut again.

“Come out soon because I’m going to wait for you,” he says.

“Why?” I ask, pulling my dirty sweatshirt over my head.

“Because I want to make sure you’re okay.”

I’m anything but okay. I want to go home. I want to eat a pint of ice cream and then sleep for at least four to six business days.

The blue fabric is light and soft as I slip it over my head. It’s cool against my skin, sending goosebumps up my arms. It’s a few sizes too big for me and reaches down to the bottom of my thighs. Today, it’s a blessing, as it covers up the water splotches on my pants. Even though the bright color is already giving me a headache, it does look better. My only complaint is that I can’t hide the ginormous white letters on the front. I wad up my sweatshirt and stuff it under my arm. Then, I open the door again.

Sure enough, there he is, leaning against the wall. He straightens when I walk out.

I move past him like I’m on a mission.

He hurries up beside me and takes my wrist to spin me back around. “Wait a second.”

I narrow my eyes. “What now? You wanted to make sure I’m okay. Well, I am.”

He shakes his head. I hate the way he stares at me like he can break down all of my walls. “No, you aren’t,” he says.

My face is getting hot again, and my eyes start to burn. I rip his hand off my wrist and let it fall to his side. “I’m not a problem you need to fix.”

“I’m just trying to help,” he says.

My jaw wobbles. “Well, you aren’t.”

I turn and walk away.

This time, he lets me go.

CHAPTEREIGHT

I satin the library for over an hour before Mom finally showed up. By that time, my stomach was roaring, and my head was light.

For most of the drive, I don’t say anything. I keep to myself and close my eyes.

“How was your first day back?” she finally asks.

I slump into the passenger seat, pulling my hoodie up over my head. “What do you think?”

She shifts her weight forward, clutching the steering wheel a little tighter. “Do you have a lot of homework?”

“Mhmm.”

She glances over at me, still smiling too big. “So, you’re tutoring now?” She’s trying to have one of those perfect mother-daughter relationships like I’ve seen in the movies, but I can see through her. All of her concern and attention is fake. She’s only trying to be close to me now because her favorite child is gone, and I’m all that’s left.

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