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Chapter One: Loïc
Valor is everything I hate.
Everything I envy.
Everything I admire.
And now he is mine.
Loïc Leduc, Journal 15
“I carved my initials into his chest yesterday. Do you think it was too soon?”
My brother’s home felt quiet with the bedtime routine done, other than Minnow reading the children a second book. Rodrigo was on an emergency work call, leaving only my brother and me, and a sedate fire in the fireplace. Even their four mutts were upstairs, never straying far from their mistress, if they had a choice.
Severin’s study was one of my favorite rooms—cozy. Weirdly sophisticated, considering my beast of a brother.
Leaning back against the comfortable leather of the couch, I studied his stoic face, hoping for a hint of what he was thinking.
He lifted a dark brow. “I thought you hated the man.”
“I changed my mind. I want to keep him.”
I enjoyed spending time with Sev. He didn’t judge me, rarely cracked a smile, and had the subterfuge of a Cro-Magnon. Growing up in Martine’s realm had meant I’d had to learn to read people’s mercurial moods, and pretend to be human to please her. Raised away from her, Severin had been spared all of that. He was the better man for it.
“When did you decide you were keeping him?”
“Right before I marked him as mine.”
He ran his thumb over the arm seam of his chair. “Hard to say if it’s too soon. How did he react when you did it?”
“He didn’t stop me.” I shrugged.
Severin nodded, mulling it over. “Well, if he didn’t safeword that probably means he likes you.”
I smiled, still feeling giddy. It was one thing for Tarryn to like me, but Valor had been the bane of my existence since I’d met them. Now? We’d have to work on things.
“Did you do aftercare?”
“I left him the stuff I got from Rodrigo and an instruction sheet.”
Severin sighed. “No, not like that. You have to show him you care and that you value him. You can’t do things like that and not hang around to make sure he’s okay afterward.”
Frowning, I tried to work out what that meant. “Like make him a coffee?”
“Something to drink is good. There’s also hugging.” Severin chewed his thoughts for a moment. “You could tell him he’s a good boy.”
My shoulders drew up of their own accord. That kind of thing made me queasy. “Hugging?”
“Hugging means a lot to most people.” Severin looked as uncomfortable as I felt.
“But you don’t hug Minnow and Rodrigo very often.”
“I do when they need it. Sometimes it’s nice. Lucky for me, they can also get that from each other, which gets me off the hook. With your two, they’re both alone. You’re the only one around to do it. If you don’t take care of them, they can go into subdrop and feel horrible—even judge themselves harshly for enjoying what you do to them. Do you want them to feel terrible after you leave and dread you coming back?”
“Well…no.”
He studied me. “It doesn’t have to be hugging. You can…I don’t know. Give them a bath? You have to let them know you care about them and value them.”
