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Sex with either of them blew my mind, but sex with them both at once? It was another level of pleasure—during those moments, my mind was completely housed in my body, a feeling I rarely experienced in such a primal, uncomplicated way.
We cleaned the floor the best we could with what we had access to, teasing Valor about the mess.
My heart felt light.
I felt warm. Included.
The shower was too small for all three of us, but we wedged into it anyway, laughing, complaining about getting soap and shampoo in inconvenient places. I fought down the panic at being trapped, and almost forgot about it for a while.
When we’d dried off, they got into bed to cuddle. I lingered awkwardly by the bedroom door, watching. I longed for what they had. Melancholy loomed, trying to take over my thoughts.
Why was I torturing myself, wishing I was different? I was what I was.
I stepped back from the door, planning to head to the living room to watch TV.
“Come on, Leduc.”
I hesitated, not sure if I should listen. Uncertainly, I approached the bed, wanting to participate, but also willing to gnaw off a limb or two to escape.
“What?” I asked, my tone embarrassingly dour.
“Get in next to one of us.”
“The bed is too small.”
“We’re cuddling, not sleeping. There’s room. I’d put you in the middle, but I don’t think you’re ready for that yet.”
Why was being touched acceptable for sex, but real affection so…uncomfortable?
I stalked to Tarryn’s side of the bed and looked down at them, then away, trying to convince myself to get in beside her. I wanted to, but my mind was trying to convince me to remove myself from the situation.
“None of your other sexual partners wanted this from you?” Tarryn asked, her tone devoid of judgment.
“No, once they were done with me, I was sent away.”
She caught my hand and squeezed it. I knelt beside the bed.
“Will you stay with us? You don’t have to get into bed with us if it makes you uncomfortable, but we’d like you to stay.”
I smiled uncertainly. “Okay.” Twining my fingers with hers, I kissed her hand.
“You don’t think you’d be more comfortable on the bed?” Valor asked. “You’re allowed up on the furniture, Leduc.”
He was teasing, I knew, but he had no idea how new that notion was for me.
I was finally somewhat used to the mattress on the floor at my house—it was a mind-boggling luxury compared to my kennel in the barn. Being up on a real bed felt dangerous. What if I got used to it and then got banished again?
Stupid boy.
No. This was a normal thing to want. Who can banish Loïc from real beds now?
Even if I wasn’t welcome in theirs, I could always get my own.
She gave Valor a playful smack. “Don’t pressure him. He’ll let us know when he’s ready.”
“You really are cruising for a punishment with all of this smacking, Nymph.”
Uneasily, I got to my feet. They were both looking at me with affectionate expectation.
