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“But I don’t want to feel desperate. I want to feel powerful.”
Jade placed her hands on her stomach as if to center herself. As if to feel the power that lived there.
My own power tickled with excitement. I took a deep, calming breath to settle it.
It was an interesting thought—that my dark, murderous power recognized whatever power was blooming inside of Jade.
By the time I turned my attention back to Jade, she was looking at me with her hands on her hips. “It’s not working.”
I signed. “It never will work if you keep thinking that way.”
“You know what we need to do,” she said. “We need her.”
Esther.“No, we don’t.”
“She can teach me how to use this.”
“We can’t trust her, Jade!”
“Maybe not. But if she needs me like she says she does, she has every interest to develop my magic as quickly as possible. You know it’s true.”
Saints. Yes, I did know it was true.
But I hadn’t confronted Esther since Trithen. I didn’t want to do it now.
Jade stepped forward, close enough that I thought she might reach out and touch me.
She didn’t.
“I know you’re afraid,” she said.
“What?”
“You’re afraid to confront your mother.”
“That’s not true,” I said.Why did I feel defensive?
“She has no power here, Mal. She can’t do anything to you. She can’t hurt me, either. You won’t let her.”
I unclenched my tight fists and tried to relax. “It’s not getting hurt that I’m worried about.”
“Then what? What’s keeping you from walking into that dungeon right now and demanding that Esther helps us?”
I turned and paced in the grassy garden. What was stopping me? If Esther so much as looked at Jade or myself the wrong way, I would end her.
So why was I resisting?
Jade walked up behind me, placing her delicate hands on my back. My wings flared in response, but Jade didn’t back away. “Hey,” she whispered, dangerously close. “I’ll be with you the whole time.”
Jade hadn’t forgiven me. I knew that. This didn’t change anything.
She wanted to learn her magic just as badly as we needed her to learn it.
Yet somehow, her touch on my bare skin sent a thrill of delight down my spine. “Fine,” I said, clearing my throat.
“Fine?”
“If you want to speak with Esther so badly, we’ll go.”
