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“Do you think about it?” he asked quietly.
I snapped back to our conversation, not even realizing my mind had drifted. “Think about what?”
“What the final test will be? Why they can’t tell us? Which of us will make it into The Golden City?”
I turned to look at him. Lanson was not the simple, clean male I thought him to be when I’d first met him. His mind spun in ways that made me want to ask him what dwelled inside.
He was fighting something in there, too. I just didn’t know what it was.
“I’ve been trying to think about that all as little as possible, actually. Whatever’s coming for us in that final test… I’m not sure I want to know,” I admitted.
Lanson took a deep breath beside me, blowing it out loudly before looking back at me. “Bond with me,” he said.
“What?” There was no way I’d heard him correctly.
“When the time comes, I want you to bond with me, Huntyr. We can get through the final test together. We’ll make it to The Golden City together.”
My pounding heart drowned my thoughts. “Why would you want to do that? With me, I mean?”
His eyes softened. “Isn’t it obvious?”
Before I could respond, Lanson dipped his head and brushed his lips against mine.
The kiss was brief and light, and it all happened so fast. After two seconds, he pulled back and met my gaze. I was surprised at the tenderness there, the warmth.
“I like you. I’ve liked you since I first saw you. I know you’ve been getting stronger here, but if you bond with me, I’ll make sure you survive, Huntyr. I’ll take care of you.”
I couldn’t stop myself from laughing, shaking my head as I tore my gaze away.
“What?” Lanson asked, frowning. “I thought you would be relieved.”
“No, it’s not that,” I stuttered. “It’s just…” I took a long breath. All this hiding, all these secrets. Could I tell him? Could I tell him the truth?
“I’m here for you,” Lanson whispered, brushing another soft kiss to my lips. I tried not to stiffen. “I’ll always be here for you.”
It would be so easy for me to give in to him. So easy for me to let him carry some of the damn weight, to let him see a small fraction of my dark, twisted soul. He had to know some of it, right? He had to suspect some of the secrets, some of the bruises that never healed, some of the shadows lurking in my eyes.
Could he see it? Could he sense how damaged I had become?
Maybe that was why he offered me his help. Maybe it wasn’t because I consecutively lost every fight. Maybe it wasn’t because I let people beat me up in training.
Maybe he saw the cracks of my soul, the broken pieces of my heart. Maybe he saw my tired eyes and pale skin, frail and dull.
Or maybe he was telling the truth. Maybe he saw it all and liked me, anyway.
He kissed me again—the third time—and moved his hand up to the base of my neck. He deepened the kiss, much different from the feathered questions that lingered between us before. This kiss was confident. Needy.
I kissed him back, only for a few seconds, before pulling away.
I hadn’t thought of Lanson like that before, but now?
Maybe this was what I needed. Maybe Icouldfinally trust someone. If we were going to bond, he would find out anyway. Now was just as good of a time as any to rip the truth out of the buried secrets.
“I have to tell you something, Lanson. I’m not as weak as you think I am,” I whispered.
His eyes widened in shock. “I know that. I was just saying—”
“No, not like that. I haven’t been entirely honest with you about who I am, about where I came from.” He waited for me to continue. “I’m a fighter, Lanson. I’ve been trained to kill vampyres my entire life. I’ve been losing my sparring matches on purpose, appearing weak so people wouldn’t look in my direction. I can fight, Lanson.”
