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It had been at least a century since we had celebrated Maybon. Our pack would hold a big feast as we gave thanks for our harvest and held a night run. My mothers would decorate our home in oranges and yellows. They would prepare apples in every possible way, and we would give thanks during our family breakfast before we got ready for the pack's celebrations.
Longing for my old life always hits me hard on holidays. Seeing Lucien and Aeon dote on Katarina only made it worse. They looked happy as they gave thanks, breaking bread together before they lit some herbs to cleanse the library. Mr. Potter would cleanse the other major rooms as he always did.
Katarina looked beautiful in an orange dress that curved against her waist and fell just above her knee. She had a crown of flowers around her head as her hair fell down in waves along her back.
As much as I denied feeling anything for her, I knew I was lying to myself. The sex we had was proof of that. It was the best I had ever had. Our anger fueled my desire, her biting, pushing and snapping back at me only made it better. The women I had been with had always been meek, submissive and moaned on cue. I wanted a woman who could give as much as she could take.
Vivienne was always a woman who would fight with me, push me, but those last few months, she had pulled away. If I was being honest with myself, she had pulled away after she told me her true feelings but I didn’t feel the same way. I never saw her as a mate, to me she was like a younger cousin or friend's little sister, someone I couldn’t have romantic or sexual feelings for.
Even though she was mature for her age, I never saw her as more than my duty. If I had given us a chance, would things have been different? If we all had given her the attention of our mate would we be cursed?
A lot of what-ifs plagued my thoughts. No matter what, at the end of the day she wasn’t my mate and she would never be no matter what the elders and my father wanted. She wasn’t Katarina.
I felt the pull towards her, I felt the connection and I felt the start of a bond. No matter what I did, she was burrowing herself in me. My anger, my hate did nothing to her and I had to wonder if she liked our arguing as much as I did.
She couldn’t be my mate. She was our demise, sent in to bring us to our knees once again. As much as my wolf fought me, I had to stay strong. Katarina Belladonna was a Trojan horse delivered to make us break from within.
After they did their rituals, she broke away from them to go to the circle she had made for the spell. Her spell weaving was elegant. If I didn’t know she was powerless, I would have assumed she was skillfully powerful.
She grabbed a little bit of salt, adding a symbol to one side of the circle. I immediately recognized it as earth. The symbol charged the air and I felt my power flow through me like an old friend but the feeling lasted only for a minute.
The curse had taken away most of the power we had. I still could do small things with my magic—tinctures and herbal magic—but nowhere near the amount of things I had been able to do. My magic could grow crops, feed our pack and on occasion help bring life into the world.
I missed my pack, but without my magic, it felt like I was missing a piece of myself. The severed connection I had to mother earth left me feeling incomplete.
“Goddess, give me strength, allow me to find my magic and serve you,” Katarina whispered.
It was a soft whisper but I heard her loud and clear, making me think of all the reasons I thought she didn’t have magic. Did someone bind her magic? The Belladonnas were cruel beings, leaving destruction in their wake and maybe their cruelty didn’t respect familial ties either.
“I don’t want to ask for much, but please give me the strength to help me break this spell. Give them your guidance and lessen their hate.” A tear fell down her cheek. “They don’t deserve this punishment.”
My molars ground against each other. She had to know I was right here. That’s the reason she included us in her prayer, getting me ready so she could try and get me on her side. She was a good actress, but I wasn’t stupid enough to believe it.
My wolf fought me for dominance, growing tired of my shit. The war within me was a constant struggle, so bad that one day, I was worried I wouldn’t be able to contain it. I must have been making more noise than I expected because I felt her eyes on me.
Her expression was fierce. It excited me thinking of all the different ways to take that expression off her face. My wolf took over, walking to her as her heart beat a little faster. I wanted to stop him, but I was curious about what he wanted to do. All he was thinking about was fucking her again, claiming her and if she were anyone else, I wouldn’t be so stubborn.
She didn’t give me a chance to see what my wolf wanted to do when she turned around to walk back to Aeon and Lucien. I growled, hating that she was walking away from me. Turning her back on a predator was stupid, but showed me she wasn’t scared. It made me admire her, she was my match in more ways than one, and it both excited me and made me hate her more.
* * *
It wasthe day of the spell. The circle that Katarina had been charging for the last few days was ready. The library felt charged last night, the magic feeling like an old friend. I envied Lucien, it seemed mating with the Belladonna had given him some power back as his fist on fire was a strong indication.
We didn’t know how a bond between a witch and a witch shifter was going to behave. The elders said it was going to be fine because of the previous mating, but the witch wasn’t as strong and neither was the shifter.
Our bond would have been a different story. We were powerful, but we didn’t know what would happen. Vivienne was one of the strongest witches of her coven, if not the strongest of them. Her power rivaled everyone, but her family kept her weak or so they thought. Her obsession with blood magic was fueled by her need to learn more about her power.
Instead of nurturing Vivienne, her father hindered her, making her a loose cannon because all he did was suppress her magic with naivety. He could have offered her so much knowledge, but he kept her sheltered and look where that got him.
Before we were cursed she had shown great power, but no control. I had hoped that once we mated, I would give her all the resources she needed to become better and stronger. I had planned to show her everything her father hadn’t, but she didn’t give me that chance.
I walked to the library, nervous that this wouldn’t work out, but excited to cast a spell again. By the time I entered, they were all waiting for me. They stopped talking as soon as I came close, making me feel like the outsider I was.
“Thanks for helping.” Aeon nodded at me.
Lucien looked like he was ready to punch me again and the Belladonna didn’t even look at me. It wouldn’t surprise me if they all knew what I had done with her. They knew where I stood with her, so it shouldn’t surprise them either.
“Ok, are we ready?” Katarina asked.
