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I tried to see Thane again today, but his family said he was busy with work. He didn’t need any distractions and when he was ready to see me he would. Pregnancy was making me extremely hormonal; I cried the entire way home. This isn’t the start of the end is it?
What I wouldn’t give to see everything play out. Their lives were like an episode of some daytime soap opera. All I was waiting for was someone to die and come back to life. I continued to read.
I finally met with Thane. He was distracted when he met with me. I asked him what was going on but he dismissed me, asking me to look at a spell he was working on. He was insisting that I look at it before we talked. It was the spell we did, but it was modified. When I told him what I had to tell him was more important, he lashed out at me.
I couldn’t believe he yelled at me so brutally. We stared at each other for a moment before I just walked away. Thane was breaking my heart because this stupid spell we had been working on seemed more important. It felt like he was using me just for my magic.
I cried more and more as I walked away, but before I could get home he caught up with me explaining he was under a lot of pressure from his family. He said he loved me, he just needed my help so that they would have what they wanted and they would leave him alone. His family has big expectations for him. They wanted him to succeed so he could take over the family business.
So I ended up helping him, but then I realized that no matter how much I wanted this to work, it wasn’t going to. My family would kill Thane for even sleeping with me and I don’t know what they would do with my baby. I couldn’t let anything happen to them. So I would have to do something I didn’t want to do, but knew I had to. Tomorrow I would go to Zev, tell him what I did and pray to the goddess that he gives us mercy.
I couldn’t believe what I was reading. She wasn’t who I thought she was. The clock chimed, halting my erratic thoughts about Vivienne. How was it so late already?
The library was too quiet, making me worry.
Where was Lucien?
I wanted to keep reading but I also wanted to see what was going on with Lucien. It was unusual for him not to come to the library. Grabbing the grimoire, I walked out of the library listening for any sign of the guys or if Lucien was in the house. It was too quiet and not even Mr. Potter was anywhere to be found.
A bad feeling rushed through me. Did Caston come back with people?
I felt for my bond with Lucien, he seemed to be fine, but I felt a hint of sadness. Our bond had felt muted lately, making me worry. Taking a deep breath I closed my eyes, feeling for Lucien. Aeon had once said our bond was like a tether between us. I hoped he was right because I was about to use that tether to find him.
My body felt like it was being tugged towards the back of the house. I went through a hallway before I walked into a big room that looked like some sort of ballroom. The room looked like, at one point, it had hosted some really great parties in it. There was even a piano that didn’t look as dusty as the rest of the room. Seeing the rain outside, I left Vivienne’s book there to keep it dry.
The bond took me outside into the pouring rain. The fall was in full effect, the chill in the air was getting colder and I couldn’t wait for Samhain. It was my favorite holiday probably because it was the night I felt closest to my grandmother. The ache of her loss never left me.
I felt a tug into the garden underneath my bedroom, the gate was open, letting me see all the guys and Mr. Potter kneeling around the center. A hurricane of emotions hit me all at once. My lip quivered as I walked away. Grief, regret, pain, anger and hate swirled through me.
I don’t know what I walked in on, but it wasn’t good. The emotions were beating down on me just like the rain and I didn’t know what to do. I walked back in through the way I came to get Vivienne’s book off the piano to deal with whatever emotions I was experiencing. Tears flowed down my face as I leaned over the piano trying to figure out how to stop these emotions.
Taking deep breaths to calm myself, I knew I didn’t have much time before one of them shifted and found me just standing here. Why were they all sad? What was today?
It felt like betrayal that Lucien didn’t say anything to me. Is this why he had been so distant lately? Was this Aeon’s reason too? My head hurt from the onslaught of emotions raging in me.
“Crying because you’re not the center of attention?”
I looked at the doorway seeing Zev drenched in a pair of trousers with a button down shirt. He would have actually looked dressed up if he didn’t look like a drowned rat. He would probably look lethal in a suit.
“What did you say?” I snapped.
He smirked before he walked towards me. His silent gait and the look in eyes made me want to step back in fear, but the way my thighs clenched made me stay still and I was stubborn. He would not see me afraid.
“Crying because you're not the center of attention?” He stepped up to me, towering over me, but I stuck out my chin like he was just a puppy who could do me no harm.
“I’m not the one who bitches about losing their friends, being a loner waiting for someone to take pity on him.” I smirked back at him. “Right? Sir Fluffington? You can’t handle the competition?”
“You think I’m scared of a magicless Belladonna?” He growled. “You're the defect, the one who no one loved, not even your husband.”
His words stung more than I’d like to admit they did.
“You can’t even do the one thing women are good for. You think Aeon or Lucien are going to be happy with a barren mate?”
My biggest fear. He hit it right on the head. My teeth ground as I tried to not let his words break me… yet.
“They have always talked about children, we always talked about children.” His words hit hard, but I hit harder. I didn’t wait, I lifted my knee up and he anticipated that move but what he didn’t take into account was I wanted his face lower so I could hit him right in his nose. My punch was spot on as I felt his nose break under my fist.
He reared back, but I was too fast, I hit him right in the nuts and pushed him on the floor.
