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“Kit Kat, please.” I pushed out my emotions so she knew I wasn’t mad or angry, I just needed to make this better.
I was met with silence as my wolf grew impatient and I opened the door. The room was a mess and empty with the balcony doors left wide open. Rushing towards the balcony, I panicked when I realized she must have jumped off, but when I looked around, she was sitting on the edge of the railing with her back towards me like she was going to jump.
“Katarina,” I exhaled the breath I had been holding sharply.
“Lucien,” she whispered back.
I walked slowly towards her like she was a skittish cat. The irony of that thought was not lost on me because she was my skittish Kat.
“Were you ever going to tell me?” she asked, with a tremble in her voice.
“You want me to be honest or to sugarcoat it, and tell you what you want to hear?”
“What the hell kind of question is that? I always want the truth,” she snapped, as she swung her legs around to glare at me.
“No, I wasn't going to tell you.” I stood next to her.
“What the fuck, Lucien? You didn’t think I should know that I’m going to die?” She looked shocked.
“You really want to know when you take your last breath instead of just going out completely happy?” I asked, running a hand down my face, nervous that I was just digging my grave. “I didn’t want you to feel the pressure and I was confident we were going to break the spell.”
“What if I have things to do or I want to say I love you or tell you how I feel?” She looked like she was on the verge of panicking.
I grabbed her behind the neck resting our foreheads together.
“If you need death to tell you how to feel, then maybe what you’re feeling isn’t true. If you love me, you tell me everyday and whenever you goddamn feel like it. You don’t just tell me when you think you’re going to die because you will always love me.” I held her face with both hands so she could see my face. “I love you Kit Kat and I will keep telling you up until the last fucking second, and then I’m following you. I will find a way. I won’t be trapped here forever remembering the taste of your lips, the feel of your body or the feel of being inside of you. I will not live in a world without you.”
Her eyes were wide in shock but they quickly watered while her lip trembled.
“Lucien, we barely know each other. How can you—”
“I don’t need time to tell you what I already know. I think I fell for you that night you asked me to help you, and every moment after that was reassurance that my heart had made the right decision.”
It took everything I had not to take her back to her bed to worship her and show her how I really felt, but I knew this was still a shock for her. The pull from our bond wasn’t the same as my own.
“I wish you had told me,” she said, turning her body.
I took the opportunity to nestle between her legs. She wasted no time settling in my arms, laying her head on my chest, easing some of the guilt I felt and the feeling of missing something.
“I’m sorry,” I said, kissing her head.
“Why does this feel almost as good as an orgasm?”
I chuckled. “We’ve been apart for too long, we are starving for one another.”
“I’m still mad at you,” she murmured into my chest.
“I know Kit Kat. Let me ease the weight of your disappointment. My shoulders are a good resting place.”
My voice lowered in arousal at my sexual innuendo. It was probably the wrong thing to say, but being this close to her, I couldn’t help myself. Usually a mated couple or sub pack spent a week holing up in their homes “adjusting”. It was just them having sex as often as they liked and enjoying the new bond.
“As much as I love the sound of that, I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”
I couldn’t help the disappointment that coursed through me.
“Of course, I didn’t mean to sound inconsiderate,” I said, as she pulled away from me.
She grabbed my hand, leading me back into the room as I expected her to kick me out.
