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“Are you mated to her?” I asked, thinking that was the only reason they were waking earlier.
“No, I’m not,” he snapped.
I raised my eyebrow at him.
“I can’t, as much as I want to and crave to.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I keep seeing different futures and none of them look good. It won’t be good if both of us go crazy because she dies. Lucien should have thought about the consequences before he mated her.”
That’s why he had been so cold to her lately, I thought they had had a fight. Now it made sense. As much as I wanted to tell him it was a good idea, I hated to see him suffer. He was right, though, that if Katarina died, Lucien might go crazy. Living without your mate was hard enough, but if both of them were in mourning, I didn’t know what would happen.
“It’s smart thinking,” I agreed with him. “Lucien is going to be inconsolable without her. He didn’t think it through.”
My heart grew heavy with apprehension, I hadn’t thought about it much, but I had wondered what if she didn’t make it.
“I want her though; I need her and I hate every day that she isn’t mine and I’m not hers.” The pain in his voice made my wolf come forward in comfort.
Aeon looked at me when his eyes flashed yellow. Our wolves had always been in sync.
Loud steps came down the stairs and we looked up to Lucien, who looked pissed off. He glared at us as he went in the direction of the library.
“Lu?” Aeon called out to him, but he kept walking. “Fuck.”
Aeon walked after him, but I pulled him back. “Let him cool off before you talk to him,” I said, trying to help him.
“No, I shouldn’t have said what I said, I’m just really frustrated.” He yanked his arm out of my own, before he followed him.
I was about to walk away, but this nagging feeling like I had to apologize too made me follow Aeon into the library.
“We’ve talked about it already, and I don’t need to hear how both of you just think I make stupid decisions.” Lucien’s voice carried out into the hallway.
“Lu, that not what—”
“Look it might be easy for you to deny your feelings for her, but I know if I didn’t mate her that day, it would have been a day very soon afterward.”
I walked into the library with Aeon and Lucien by the study area we had made by the fireplace.
“I’m stressed,” Aeon said, like that was an acceptable excuse.
“You’re stressed? How the hell do you think I feel, Aeon? I fucking love her, I live and breathe for her,” Lucien snarled, pacing in front of the fire. “All I think about is keeping her safe, happy and giving her whatever else she needs.”
I walked up to them trying to think of anything to say that would make Lucien calm down. He was always the most emotional one out of us, and still innocent from his youth. He didn’t need to be tainted by the stuff Aeon and I had seen. I made sure he stayed home while we did all the dirty work.
Once Lucien saw me, he rolled his eyes walking away.
“Lucien,” I said, following him.
“Look, I don’t need both of you treating me like I’m a dumb child, go patronize someone else and just leave me alone.” He walked toward the doors that lead outside but turned the other way walking back from where we had come from.
“We are just worried,” I said, still following him.
“No, you just like to control me.” He sounded exhausted. “That’s all you’ve done since I was young.”
“That’s uncalled for, and you know it, Lucien,” I snapped. “I did what I had to.”
“Why me? Aeon always went with you to war or whenever your father sent you out for diplomatic things. I’ve always been on the outside.”
“That’s not true,” I scoffed. “I did what I had to, so you stayed safe.”
“I didn’t need you to protect me.” He turned around. “Maybe if I hadn’t listened to you, we wouldn’t be in this mess. Then again, I guess I wouldn’t have been stupid enough to mate with Katarina, to mate with a woman I love. If this is the only chance I get to have a mate, then so be it. I would rather spend a year with her than cold and alone for eternity.”
