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When they pulled apart, Lee’s smile was noticeably wobbly. “That’s me—human.”
“You and me both,” Alex told him, throat a little tight with words he still held back because this wasn’t the moment.
Another time. Tonight maybe, or tomorrow. Actually, it might be better to wait until after the Japan match, to avoid any distractions. They’d only just settled into this new normal, after all, and things were bound to change again once Lee learned that Alex wasn’t straight either. Alex wasn’t ready for that. Not just yet.
So he fished for a grin, pinched Lee’s waist, and ordered him to get a move on because “coffee is a thing of beauty, Lee, and if you aren’t ready to leave in the next ten minutes, you’re on your own.”
“Your addiction is quite unbecoming,” Lee said primly, but his answering smile was soft in a way that made Alex’s stomach give an odd little lurch. He took a step back so he wouldn’t take one forward. It was only when Lee had disappeared into the bathroom that Alex felt his heartbeat slow to a normal rate.
Fuck no. Developing an inconvenient infatuation didn’t mesh with the path laid out for him since birth—and so he wouldn’t.
Japan.
Nine minutes into the match, England took the lead off a corner kick—Jeff circled the ball into the penalty area, and then Alex’s header grazed the fingertips of the Japanese goalkeeper but wentin. His first fucking goal for the national team. Alex was still blinking through his disbelief, adrenaline a dizzying rush in his ears, when Lee barrelled into him, grin so blinding that for a moment, it was all Alex could see.
Eighteen minutes later, Oliver plucked a shot out of the air and threw it to Jeff, who started for the Japanese goal. With three defenders swarming him, he sent the ball to Alex on his right, and Alex found Lee on the edge of the box. The keeper stood no chance.
“There’s another forty-five minutes to this game,” Kieran told them during the half-time break, voice raised to carry over the happy buzz. “Don’t let your guard down, lads. Let’s take it home.”
Sixty-second minute. Penalty for Japan—a tough decision but not entirely unfair, Finley having stopped a Japanese striker about to break through. Goal for Japan, Oliver’s face like thunder, and England was one man down because Finley had seen a second yellow card for his foul. Collectively, they lost control of the game, Japan crashing up against their defence lines again and again. Oliver, who kept playing at his usual level, was the sole reason Japan scored just one additional goal.
A draw. It felt like a loss.
They’d held on to the top spot of their group, but by the barest margin—instead of prematurely bagging one of two tickets to the round of sixteen, Morocco and the Netherlands were lurking just one point behind them. Even Japan still had a chance if they won their next game.
It was quiet after the match, players slouched on the benches, some with their heads tipped back against the lockers, eyes closed. Alex set both elbows on his thighs and stared at the floor, stomach heavy. They’d come so fuckingcloseto sealing the deal.
“All right, lads.” Kieran didn’t need to raise his voice this time—you could have heard a pin drop. “Just so we’re clear, I’m not disappointed because we walked away with just the one point. I’m disappointed because you weren’t outclassed today, but out-spirited. Because you got smug. Because you thought you had it in the bag, and now everyone’s going to ask whether this team is simply too young, too inexperienced, when Iknowwhat you lot are fucking capable of.”
A few players stirred. No one spoke up.
Kieran sighed. “Okay, that’s enough for tonight, I think. Bus is waiting, so off we go. Let’s get a good night’s rest and leave all further analysis for tomorrow.”
Slowly, one by one, Alex’s teammates rose from the benches, grabbed their things, and filed out of the room. Alex stayed seated until Jeff walked past him and, without even looking, grabbed Alex’s elbow and hauled him up and along.
“Move now, mope later,” Jeff ordered.
Alex caught Lee’s eyes from across the room, Lee’s face grim yet resolved as he got up and followed them out, just a step behind. It might have been coincidental, but Alex was glad for Jeff right beside him and Lee not far behind, especially once they exited the building to cameras and flashes.
After the first match, the British press had loved the team in general and Alex in particular. While he hadn’t scored, his two assists along with a high number of completed passeshad garnered him more than his fair share of attention, and a few friends from school and his childhood had seemed to delight in sending him some of the more ridiculous headlines. Titles like‘No More Earl Gray: The World Cup Begins!’and‘Earl-y Days Yet But We’re Off to a Great Start’had made Alex cringe while Lee had laughed long and hard before he’d asked why Alex was only an earl when his dad was a duke, and did those titles deteriorate from generation to generation until all that was left was an everyday sucker?
The press wouldn’t love them after this. And Alex’s father would take great pleasure in pointing it out.
There was very little chatter on the bus as it took them to that night’s hotel. Those who had someone waiting for them slunk off immediately while the handful of them who didn’t lingered in the lobby for a few minutes longer, until Jeff broke away with a bright, “Well, everyone, so that sucked. See you losers tomorrow.”
Alex glanced at Lee and mumbled his own version of a goodnight before he trailed Jeff to the lift, Lee following them a moment later. The three of them rode up in silence and exited into a hallway lined with stone tiles and yellow-washed walls. “So,” Jeff said when he stopped in front of his room. “Guess we’ll just have to win the next one, then.” Like it was nothing.
Lee moved further along the corridor to his own room. “Solid plan,” he commented in passing, and Alex tried to think of something funny to say, but his brain was stuffed with cotton, throat still tight with disappointment.
Bloody hell, it’s not the end of the fucking world.
He’d be fine. He just needed some sleep to clear his head, that was all. And yeah, he kind of wished he weren’t on his own tonight when he could greatly benefit from Lee’s ability to calmly dissect Alex’s fears and doubts. But life was not a jukebox, and Alex was a bloody grownup who didn’t need a nightlight or someone to check for monsters under the bed.
Except when Alex went to unlock his own room, Lee sent him a sharp look, a curious tilt to the curve of his mouth hinting at a question. Maybe Alex wasn’t the only one who could use the company.
So he took his time digging the keycard out of his pocket, waving Jeff off with a smile. And then it was just Alex and Lee left in the hallway.
They were quiet for a beat, watching each other, before the corners of Lee’s lips tugged up. “You’ll be over in a few?”
