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Now the tears come because I’ve never talked about this with anyone.
Sheldon runs his hand through his hair. “Jesus, Lex. What did that fucker do? Tell me.”
His finger wipes my tears, and he waits patiently, but his eyes haven’t softened in the slightest.
“He liked to use belts and whips. He liked it really hard, Sheldon, especially if he was punishing me for teasing him. I’m really sorry. I thought all this shit was long behind me. You know, what’s the chance you would say the exact same thing, word for word.”
“Damn, I’m so sorry, Lex.”
“It’s not your fault. I know you won’t hurt me, but…”
“You didn’t know, Lex. You only know what I’ve told you. It’s perfectly natural for you to feel like that after what you’ve been through. I wish the word choice had been different, but it’s nothing I can take back. I can only make sure that you don’t hear it in the future, and that I give you a completely different memory of the word punishment.”
Something rises in my chest and settles there, making it hard to breathe. Why does Sheldon always say the one thing that will soothe me? It’s like he knows exactly what I’m thinking before I do, and my body responds to that just like it does to everything about him.
I pull his face to me and kiss his lips. “I like that very much.”
Sheldon doesn’t make me feel small by belaboring my meltdown. “Excellent, because the very next time you tease me like that, I plan to tie your wrists up, and then your feet so you’re spread out like an angel. Then I’m going to take that little friend of yours and pleasure you for hours on end, so long that you’ll be begging me to get rid of it, but I won’t. Instead, I’m going to torture you with my tongue and your little friend all night long,” Sheldon threatens, kissing the tip of my breast.
“Understand?” He leans down, running his tongue over the seam of my lips.
My center ignites with desire, hot and molten. I swallow past the lump in my throat, nodding my head and recalling his need for words. “I understand, sir.”
His lip pulls to the side. “Why do you call me sir?”
I’ve used the term a few times, and Sheldon’s never questioned it before. “Why do you ask?”
He tries to look stern, but I can see the curve of his lip as he fights to keep his smile under wraps. “That’s not how this works. You don’t answer a question with a question. It wasn’t a trick. There’s no right or wrong answer; I just want to know why you use the term.”
“I always wanted to use it, and no one else has ever deserved it. I love the way it sounds, and I guess it implies that I bow to what you say. I mean, not literally bow, but you know what I mean.”
“I do, and given that, you can feel free to use it, or not; your choice,” Sheldon directs, walking to the bathroom and returning with a warm washcloth. “Spread your legs for me, Lex,” he instructs.
I’m sure my face turns three shades of red, but my center is heating for a much different reason, so I do as he’s asked. He rewards me with a light caress of my clit with the warm washcloth. “So sweet; almost a shame to wash your cream away with anything but my tongue,” Sheldon says huskily as he gently cleans me.
He takes the cloth to the bathroom. I hear the water running before he returns with a towel wrapped around his waist. He stops at the closet, pulls a long robe from a hanger, and holds it out for me to step into as I get out of bed.
“Let’s sit outside for a while,” he suggests before the phone on the dressing table rings, and he answers it. “Sheldon here.”
He pauses in contemplation. “Sure. Give me a second,” he remarks, placing the caller on mute. “Lex, I’ll meet you on the patio in a moment, okay?”
“Oh, just take your time with all your spy games. I’ll be outside enjoying a bottle of wine and a delicious dessert, which I happen to know is tiramisu. And a little birdy told me it’s your favorite. Gaby gave me a sample earlier in the day, right before we were so rudely interrupted and swept into the downstairs safe room, and it was absolutely mouthwatering. Hope there’s enough left for you when I get done,” I tease.
His lips turn up in a smile. “I’ll be out shortly. Save me some,” he growls.
“Not a chance, big guy,” I sass, closing the door to leave Sheldon to his conversation. It is a clear, beautiful night, and the lights along the edge of the balcony are all twinkling against the darkness. The trays have been cleared except for one with two plates and a delicious-looking dessert protected underneath a glass dome. I pour each of us a glass of wine from the bottle on the table and cut two generous pieces of the cake.
I hear the patio door close, and my body absolutely thrums with excitement the closer Sheldon gets. I can sense him behind me even before he touches me. He lifts my hair from behind and suckles on the tender skin of my neck, causing goosebumps to form as he scoops me into his arms and settles me on his lap. “Let me give you dessert,” Sheldon whispers into the sensitive shell of my ear.
He slides a piece of the velvety dessert onto the tines of the fork, presenting me with a taste. I accept his offering and allow the decadence of both the taste and experience wash over me.
“I took you to bed knowing how compatible we would be, fully intending to have a conversation about rules, and then let you acclimate to the power exchange gradually, but that was before learning about your past experience. Now, I need to make sure that you fully understand the dynamic that you would be getting into if you enter a relationship with me,” Sheldon states, offering me another bite.
He’s still patiently waiting for me to absorb what he’s said. Sheldon’s so confident and comfortable in his skin. He doesn’t appear at all fazed by the fact that I am totally freaking out, but it’s probably because it’s only on the inside, so he can’t tell what a mess I am. I knew he was dominant, but I don’t really know the dynamics he enjoys, or if we’ll really be compatible in that area. We’ve discussed belts and whips, which I’ve come to learn are most certainly not for me and that he won’t use, but there’s so much that I do want to share with him. “I’d like that.”
He caresses my cheek and lets his finger trail to my lip. “I still see the concern written all over your face. It’s my responsibility to ensure we’re compatible, that this dynamic isn’t just what I want, but what you want and need too,” he says, turning me slightly to gently kiss my lips. “No whips, no belts, nothing that causes you real physical pain. Spankings from time to time, with my hand, Lex. But when we’re at home and by ourselves, you’ll seldom be dressed, with the exception of your collar and pink fluffy tail.”
I suck in my breath. Sheldon seems to have a direct line to my needs, knowing exactly what I desire without me having said a word, but I always seem to wake from great dreams only to find myself right back in the same place, absolutely alone. If this is a dream, though, I don’t want to wake up because my heart is already so involved.
