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10
SYLVIE
Am I really doing this?
Apparently, I was.
With the help of some painkillers, I’d managed to get back to my place and sleep a little, then pack a bag. The pain was wearing off, which meant that the desperate need of the heat was already clawing at me. My breasts were swollen in my too-tight bra, and the rest of my body was so sensitive it felt like I’d come from one puff of breath between my thighs.
The anticipation was destroying me. For the first time, I was going to get knots during my heat. Thankfully, I was on omega-level birth control, so I could take whatever they gave me and not stress about it.
Or at least, not stress about pregnancy. I was stressed about a lot of it.
Even with his insistence that he wanted me there for my heat, I wasn’t sure Luke meant it. He’d been sweet, and I loved how it felt to be in his arms, but he still seemed distant. The other guys, however…
I’d been drowning in their alpha scents by the time I left. Will had just held me, while Jonah had looked like he was barely restraining himself. Naughty Toby slipped his hand up the inside of my thigh as I got up to leave and came within a millimeter of brushing against my clit. It was a miracle I stayed upright. I gave him a chastising look, and he just grinned.
That man was going to own me. I was already throbbing just thinking about what he might do to me. Would he tie me up? Oh god, I hoped so.
I was aware on some level that indulging in being with all of them during my heat could lead to heartbreak. That it was something biology was tricking us all into doing. It wasn’t real.
But I just couldn’t fight it anymore. If I couldn’t have them forever, I could have them right now. And I wanted them so much. More than my rational self would likely ever admit.
As far as the employees at the gallery knew, I got chronic migraines that took me out of commission for a few days, so I called in my usual excuse. Allison promised it would be fine, told me to take care of myself.
I texted my sister and Eloise that I was having a heat, but I didn’t tell them I’d be with a pack. Maybe I didn’t want to jinx it, maybe it was still too new, maybe it felt like it would add pressure to the situation. For many reasons, I simply didn’t want them to know.
As always, until I told them it was over, they’d only call me if it was an emergency. I wouldn’t answer my phone for anyone else. It made it easy to disconnect.
The one person I called to talk about it was Tiffany at the Network. I had to let her know I would be spending a heat with a pack, since it was one of the things they tracked. Part of me balked at the invasion of privacy, but I understood that it was a fail-safe to make sure all parties consented. Being with a pack during a heat, without having already bonded or being promised, was a big deal. I wanted Tiffany’s expertise.
She wasveryexcited for me.
“You’ve never taken a knot during a heat? Ever?” Her tone was giddy, even though the words were a little condescending. I could imagine her clapping and jumping up and down. “Oh, Sylvie. It will be so much better. You’re going to love it.”
“What about… I mean, what happens if when this is all over, we decide not to bond?”
“Okay, good question. I have seen that happen before. I had a client who had an ambiguous match with a pack, started a heat, and decided to see how it would go if they spent it together. They all had a mutually pleasant experience, but it confirmed that they weren’t really compatible. No bad feelings on either side. She found her forever pack soon after.”
Well, that was a nice happy ending. But…
“That’s an exception, though, isn’t it?”
Tiffany sighed on the other end of the line. “Can’t lie to an omega. Yes, that was the only time I’ve heard of a shared heat that didn’t follow a bonding or directly precede one. It’s still possible, though. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter. You and this pack are unique. Whatever happens is between you and them. No one else’s experiences signify.”
I was nodding even though she couldn’t see me. “Okay, you’re right. That helps.”
“Justenjoy, Sylvie. You deserve it.”
Did I? Somehow I stopped the tears that were forming from actually falling. It was what I needed to hear, needed to believe. She was good.
“Thanks. I’ll let you know how it goes.”
I hung up and looked at the clock. It was a thirty-minute drive to the pack’s house, and I wasn’t sure I could stay mentally focused long enough to take my own car. All the calls and texts had taken maybe twenty minutes, but already I was needy and very distracted by sensation. Even the friction of panties against my skin was enough to drive me crazy, so I was just in a skirt with nothing underneath.
The pack made it easy on me. I got a text from Toby saying that Luke and Will were coming to pick me up, and they were nearly there.
When the guys arrived in a new model SUV and walked me out to the car, I felt the cool outdoor air brushing against my pussy with each step. The lack of underwear might have been a mistake. Oh well, too late.
