Page 25 of Knot Your Forever


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“What?” Lake gasped. He reached forward and hit the spacebar, pausing the video so we could both process the mindfuck that he just gave us.

“He’s got your guys’ number, though, doesn’t he?” Drew teased. “He knew damn well you’d wait and he knew exactly how you’d react.”

I could feel the weight of their gazes on me and I shifted my hair, letting it create a curtain between me and them. It was my protective armor, a way to block them all out.

Lake’s fingers curled around mine, and I finally risked a glance at him. His turquoise eyes were glassy, and his chin had the slightest tremble to it.

“Are you ready?” he asked. His voice was strong despite how broken I knew he must feel. I gave his hand a squeeze and nodded once, unable to say anything out loud this time, afraid that it would betray me, and crack me wide open for them to see.

Lake reached forward and hit the spacebar, the video playing again.

“We spent every summer of most of our lives in Lockwood. That was where I fell in love. It was where Lake and I grew closer. It’s where I became who I am today. We spent so many years going to the local hangouts, hearing the townies gossip and share all their spooky campfire stories to keep us up at night.”

“Did this town really have scary stories?” Micah asked. “I can’t see it at all.”

“Oh they did,” I mused. “I’ll share them sometime.”

“I’d love that.” The softness in Micah’s voice had me glancing at him. His dirty blond hair was mussed like he was continuously running his hand through it but the smile on his face was sweet.

It also lacked pity and that was everything right now. I was so tired of that look. Before I could make a fool of myself I turned back to the screen.

“I took all of that and I created a game. But it’s not going to be that simple.” Everett let out a laugh, as if he could see our reactions, the rich, booming sound filling the room, and it was me who hit the spacebar this time.

I was keeping it together until that point. His laugh was one that had haunted my memories and one of the things I missed most about him. I clutched my chest. The pain was so strong, as if the wound had cracked open again, and it was gaping just like it was that first day that I lost him.

My grief flooded my system so fully that I could barely breathe and it took all my focus to shove myself out of my chair and move. The moment I was on my feet I was running for the door. I tore it open and hurried off into the morning light.

A light rain was falling and the chill of it burned my heated skin. It didn’t matter, I welcomed the pain at this point. It was familiar and all consuming, unavoidable.

It wasn’t until my sneakers met the main road that I realized I’d done it again.

I left Lake behind to suffer alone.

Only this time, it wasn’t alone, he had a pack, one that I was supposed to be a part of.

I stopped running, bending over with my hands gripping my thighs, gasping for air and trying to pull myself together. My hand shifted back to my chest, putting pressure on it like it could hold the jagged edges together for a little while longer.

“Shaye,” Lake called, his hurried footsteps running up behind me. I launched into a rambling speech, trying to beg for his forgiveness or explain myself… I wasn’t sure.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to run. I stopped myself. I just… god, it fucking hurts so much. It’s like I can’t do basic functions or think or breathe. Like I can’t take a single fucking step without falling apart. And if I stop moving and give in? Well, it’ll tear me open completely.”

“I know. I’m so sorry. I feel it, too, maybe not as strongly as you do—” I held up a hand to stop him before he could finish that thought.

“No, don’t do that. Don’t downplay your own shit, Lake. He was your twin. That’s not just an average bond.” We were both panting now from running and the rain was soaking through our clothes. His eyes softened and he pulled me in and held me tight.

I don’t know if it was for me or him, but I melted into the touch, finally letting somebody else in on my pain, letting him hold me up when I wasn’t strong enough to do it myself.

It wasn’t much, but it was a start.

“I don’t care if it takes us a week to get through this video, Shaye. We’re going to do it together.”

He pulled back and held out his palm for me. I reached forward and slid my hand into his, marveling at the way it engulfed mine. There were so many ways that he was the same person that he was back then and so many reminders of why he wasn’t now.

He was bigger. He’d come into his alpha designation. Lake was stronger in so many ways than I couldeverbe.

We walked back hand in hand. Drew, Micah, and Riven were waiting on the porch. They were still strangers to me, but we were also so much more than that.

I didn’t have the capacity to deal with that then. Though, to my credit, I didn’t flinch away when Micah brushed his fingers over my arm, his eyes asking if I was okay.

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