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Looking at the pictures now it felt like a different life. That girl smiling back wasn’t me anymore. I’d gone through far too much pain to be her again.
Maybe it wasn’t about letting go, but evolving into something new. I was stronger now, that was for damn sure, but I also would never take a single moment with those I cared about for granted.
I knew far too well that time was limited.
My attention shifted from the wall to his room. Everything was still a bit messy. The bed was made but his hamper was left untouched. One of his many hoodies hung on the bedpost and I picked it up, slipping it over my arms and lifting the soft fabric up to my nose.
I inhaled Everett’s scent of campfire, cedar, and sage. A single tear fell down my cheek but I didn’t let the grief overwhelm me. Instead, I gave it a place in my heart, a small piece of me that would always mourn my loss. The other side of me would stand tall and remember him while honoring his wishes and living my life.
After a few deep breaths of just him I started to walk around again, taking it all in.
A map of Lockwood was hanging above his desk. I walked over to inspect it, my smile widened as I noticed small stars next to the library, train station, town hall, and one last location outside of town.
He had been working on this for a while.
A soft knock had me turning around to see Linda standing there, watching me with a soft smile.
“How are you doing?”
“I’m okay,” I admitted. “It’s a little easier now.”
“Some days are like that. Some days I cry like a baby,” she admitted as she walked over and sat on the edge of his bed. “That boy loved you with his entire soul, Shaye.”
“He did,” I agreed. “I loved him just as fiercely.”
“Those boys down there love you the same,” she said carefully. It was her way of calling me out. Gentle words and blunt truths were woven together in her own brand of telling it like it is.
“I’m realizing that,” I said. “They’re making me realize that giving up on life isn’t an option.”
“I’ve been so worried about you, sweet girl. Your mom stopped giving me updates when you left and Lake didn’t know much either.”
“Mom stopped checking in the moment she left me at my dorm. She didn’t even bother to help me settle in,” I laughed humorlessly. “She was happy to be rid of me.”
“I’ve realized over the years that she is not the woman I became friends with.”
“I guess I was too much of a burden for her.”
“Fuck her,” Linda said with more venom than I thought she could possess. “She was a shit mother for doing that. You were hurting and rightfully so.”
“Thanks for saying that. I let it get to me for a while but I was too sad to care much. Now I’m realizing how fucked up it was.”
“Language,” she teased, giving me a wink. “I’m glad to see you smiling. The girl who came to the cabin and the one who is standing here talking to me are two different people.”
“They’ve helped me work through some things. I’m not perfect now, but I’m getting better,” I reassured her.
Mia’s barks filtered up the stairs and I knew my time here was up. I took one last look around Everett’s room before following Linda down the stairs.
The guys were all laying around the living room floor rolling a tennis ball while Mia happily chased it.
I felt a smile spread across my face at the sight of them. They were adorable as they watched her chase the ball, soft expressions on their faces. They were as in love with her as I was. Even Riven who tried to deny it.
Lake was the first to look up, catching my attention. His turquoise eyes were warm and welcoming as he lifted one arm. I didn’t hesitate to walk over and sit down, pressing my back to his chest, while his arm looped around my waist. Mia ran up immediately, scaling my legs and hopping up on my chest to lick my face.
“Hey, sweet girl, were they not giving you enough attention?” I teased, talking to her in a little baby voice that had them groaning.
“Yes, because she’s not already spoiled as hell,” Riven said, shaking his head. “Don’t think we didn’t see that car packed full of junk for her.”
There was a small smile quirking up the edge of his lips, and I wanted to move over there and kiss it. I wanted them more than I could put into words, but I didn’t know how to tell them that, knowing that tomorrow I might be struggling again.
