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"Motherfucker!" I roared, my fear, anger, and frustration finally finding a way out.
Then I kicked, sending a trash can out into the hall to bounce off the far wall. I wanted to hit something, but there were only cinder block walls around here. I needed to make something hurt - but not her. Never her. No, if she wanted to tear me apart, then that was her right.
But my vision was getting blurry, and I wasn't about to cry out here. Nah, not where someone would see me. Instead, I leaned into the anger, letting that take over. And when I stormed out of that room, I turned the opposite direction Cody had gone.
Fuck her. If she was done with me, then I'd be just as done with her. Oh, she thought she was so much hot shit? Well, just wait until Austin decided to carry through some of his threats. I'd still be there to stop him, andthenshe'd have to thank me. Maybe then she'd see what she'd just thrown away!
But she had thrownmeaway.
Fuck! I kept my feet moving until I saw a restroom, then ducked inside it. Pulling off my hat, I cranked up the water in the faucet and splashed that across my face. Now if someone saw moisture in my eyes, I had a real good reason.
Because I would not cry over her. Real men didn't do that.
But damned if my eyes weren't welling up.
I fuckingneededher!
Why couldn't she see that I'd just been helping? How could she walk away from me like that? Fuck! This had all been easier when I'd fucked 'em and kicked them out. This shit? I didn't like how it felt none. It hurt. All of me hurt. I felt like I was going to hurl, and I had no fucking idea how to stop this.
So I splashed more water on my face. Then even more. Out in the halls, I could hear the guys coming back, which meant the signing event was over, but so was my thing with Cody. We were over. Done. Finished.
She'd dumped me.
Well, if that was what she wanted, then I'd make sure she regretted it. I wasn't sure how, but I'd find some way to make sure she missed me. I would make sure leaving me became the dumbest thing she'd ever done. If she thought she could just forget me, she was so wrong.
Because I needed her to miss me. It was all I had left to hold on to.
Chapter40
The panel clankedas I yanked my glove down my rope, adding more rosin to it. The dark bull rope in my bag peeked out, reminding me of what had just happened. Ty had bought me that rope. I should give it back, but I didn't want to see him, to talk to him, or anything else. I just wanted to get my gear ready, because the event was going to start soon.
Maybe I added too much rosin, but this was just about all I could handle right now. Besides, was there such a thing? I didn't fucking care. I just kept yanking, the use of my arms feeling good in a way that distracted me from everything else in the large room where the other riders were getting ready.
Then J.D. looped his rope up beside mine. "Where's Ty?"
I yanked even harder and shook my head. It was the best I could do for an answer right now. Even hearing his name made my throat pinch up, and I would not whimper like some little girl. Nope, I'd known this was going to end badly.
It had.
It was over.
I was still here.
J.D. gave me a confused look and then started working his own rope. Twice more, he looked over at me. Maybe I had resting bitch face going on or something. I wasn't sure, but he waited a while before he got brave enough to ask again.
"Cody?" Pulling off his glove, he tossed it down by his helmet and turned to face me. "What's goin' on, hun?" Then he turned and looked across the area pointedly.
My eyes flicked in that direction, but I only needed a split second to recognize Ty towering over everyone else on the other side of the room. Yeah, of course he'd be in here. Everyone was. That didn't mean I wanted to think about him.
But J.D. wanted an answer, and I needed to give him one. "This morning sucked," I grumbled.
He nodded. "And? You pissed at him again? Thought you two worked things out last night."
I pulled in a hard breath, checked the area around us, then leaned in to whisper, "I think I just dumped him."
J.D.'s eyes were the color of strong coffee in the sunlight. His lashes were so dark. He also didn't blink as those words sank into his head. Those eyes held mine for just long enough that I felt my hands want to shake and my throat start to pinch again, and then he grabbed my shoulders and turned me around.
Walking me before him with a hand on each shoulder, he directed me to one of those alcoves where we'd gotten dressed that first day. Once there, he pushed me around the corner then shifted to put himself between me and the doorway.
