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"Yeah. They fucked you bad, but the bulls weren't that great neither," he pointed out.
"And yet you managed to get a ninety-one."
He made a face. "Ok, yeah. Good point. I just dunno what to tell ya, babe. I mean, you're right. You got fucked, and there ain't no way to hide that."
"And everything is falling apart," I told him. "My rides were good, but I was seventh!"
"Still went up in the world rankings," he tried.
I scoffed. "A bit. But if my scores suck, then sponsors aren't going to be screaming for me. I need that money, J.D."
"Why?" he pressed.
"So I can be something more than a little girl in the middle of nowhere. So I can make my own life. Because I'm fucking good at this!"
"That's my girl," he praised. "Now how we gonna fix it? You gonna worry about everything, or you gonna focus on makin' changes?"
My mouth opened to answer, but nothing came out. Instead, I paused to actually think about what he said. Sadly, I didn't have an answer.
"I don't know," I finally told him. "It's just that I feel like it's all crashing down, and with Ty? I don't know. I mean, do I just want to talk to him to rewind this weekend? Do I even want him back? I think I do, but what if he showed me who he really is and - "
"He didn't," J.D. promised. "I know that man, and while he's a pig, he's just tryin' too damned hard. I'm not sayin' you're wrong. Not at all. I'm just sayin' that he's not a piece of shit. If he was, I woulda chased him off a long ass time ago."
Which felt good. Real good. J.D. really was like a pit bull, but he wasmypit bull, and I never could get enough of that. Being with him was so easy. He was my friend, my mentor, and when his eyes held me like they were right now, he held promises of so much more.
"What about us?" I asked.
"What about us?" he asked back.
"This!" I insisted, the whiskey removing the filter between my mouth and my mind. "I'm dancing with you, but you're just my mentor. I have to keep reminding myself that Tanner's my boyfriend, Ty was supposed to be my protector, and you're... I dunno, here to teach me stuff?"
"All the stuff," he promised.
"But it's too much!" I insisted.
His feet paused and then he angled me to the side, guiding me off the dance floor. When we were out of the swirling traffic, he turned to face me, and his face had turned serious. Those dark eyes of his were warm, though. Soft, almost.
"I told ya on the way here that I'm your friend. Damned good friends, Cody, and I don't have a whole lot. So this ball's in your court."
"Well, yeah," I said, "but..."
"No," he insisted. "You heard Tanner back at the hotel. Ain't no one gonna be callin' him gay now. They've seen him with you. The two of you are cute as fuck, and it..." He tapped his chest. "Damn, I like that, get me? But us? We're a team, and I don't care how you wanna define that team, but I'll take it. Shit, I'll take whatever ya give me."
"What does that mean?" I asked.
He glanced down to the floor, but one corner of his lips curled higher. "Means that if ya don't wanna keep secrets, then I'm not worried about shit people say. Means thatyouare leading this show. Cody, all I'm sayin' is that if you think this is too much, and if ya feel like you're drownin' with this bullshit, then tell us how you want it to work."
"I want to start winning again!" I insisted.
"And I can't do shit about the judges," he countered. "All I can change is what we have. Me and you, Cody. So, if you wanna be with Ty, and you think that'll make him fix his shit, then you do it. If you wanna just be with Tanner, then you just say the word and I'll become the bestest best friend you ever had. Only thing is, if you want me to forget all about ya, I can't do that. Ain't gonna happen."
"No," I told him. "God, no, J.D. I have no intention of changing things between us."
He huffed out a relieved breath. "Ok, good. But so ya know, I ain't scared of what people will say. I like ya, Cody, and a whole lot. I like all of ya, from how you ride to how you talk to me like this, and I promise I'm not scared of people askin' why I'm not chasin' other girls. Tanner's not either, and this thing we're doing, it shouldn't be weighing you down. We're supposed to be the thing that holds ya up."
"But if they think I'm sleeping with both of you, they'll start calling me a slut next," I pointed out.
He shrugged. "Might. Might say it anyway. All I'm sayin' is that it's your call. If you don't wanna worry about hiding shit, then stop. Don't hide it. Don't mean you have to tell anyone neither. You just do you, let 'em wonder, and dare 'em to keep up."
