AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"Officially?" I said. "Because I left the arena Friday night as we carried J.D. out."
"He was holdin' my hand," J.D. explained. "I was hurtin', and didn't get no pain meds on the dirt." He breathed out something meant to be a laugh. "Kinda got an opiate addiction, you know? Hurt too many times, had too many pain meds. Doc won't give me none no more."
"Because you asked him not to," I clarified. "And yeah. Doc had me watching his arms so they didn't hit the walls or gates as we carried the stretcher to the sports medicine area. J.D. was the last official ride, but there were a few re-rides after that."
"And we told him to go," Jorge said. "I'd been holding J.D.'s hand before that, while Tanner was getting that shit-ass bull out, and..." He looked over.
So Isaac spoke up. "We knew Cody would be worried, and Tanner deserves to look after his girl. I'd do the same with Jorge if his wife's friend was hurt."
But Grace was still looking at me. "Uh-huh. And they're suspending you for leaving the arena? What if you'd been hurt?"
"Different," Dean said. "When someone's hurt, that's it. There's all those laws and shit."
"He's not wrong," Max told her.
Grace clenched her jaw hard. "But this isn't really about you leaving, is it? It's about you being gay?"
"She knows about the rumors," I told my guys, hoping they'd realize that wasallshe knew.
But Grace stepped closer, lowering her voice. "Let me tell you something, Tanner. Then you can decide what to do with it. I'm very happily married - to a woman. My wife does the sports. I sell the attire for them. I tend to get pissed off when people have a problem withmylifestyle. I also talked to Cody, and she told me just enough to explain why these rumors exist."
"We all know," J.D. said.
I wasn't sure who he was talking to, or if that was supposed to be a general announcement. The man was leaning in his seat, looking right at me, but the way he'd said that was as if he was trying to manage this mess of people standing here.
"We all know," he said again. "Jorge and Isaac told Tanner to hold my hand because I've got a thing for him. I'm bi. I ain't been busted, and Austin won't come at me head-on because I already put some stitches in that motherfucker's face. Instead, he's going at the ones I care about."
Grace was still watching me. "She only told me it was a trio."
Cody. Grace meant that was what Cody had said when Grace had asked her about this. My girl hadn't outed me, and Grace was giving me the chance to crawl right back in the closet. The strange thing was that I didn't want to. All of this? It was making this rage build in the back of my head.
Not an overwhelming kind of rage. No, this was the subtle resentment that could linger for eons. It was the kind of anger that would never let me forget how many people were willing to make my life harder because of something that wasn't a damned bit of their business.
This rage was quiet. It was cold and cruel and determined. It was also solid as fuck. It couldn't be dissolved with raising my voice or hitting shit. It just stayed, growing a little more each time something like this happened. It didn't even matter if it was happening tome. Seeing the hate against those who were gay, or bi, or pan, or anything not straight? That was what kept this kind of rage alive.
I was pretty sure Cody must have a similar version, but hers was for women. All those times she'd been told she couldn't do something simply because she was a girl. Who knew, maybe her rage was the thing that made her ride so well, or maybe it was why she was so damned strong.
Mine? It just pushed me forward. It helped me brace for the worst. It reminded me this was my bullshit, and mine alone - even if others were willing to help. They couldn't, though. Sure, they could stand with me, and that mattered so fucking much, but it wasn't the same. None of us could stop this sort of shit, so I got to simply be pissed about it. Always fucking pissed, in some small part.
And I was sick of it.
"I'm done hiding," I told J.D. "It's going to come out, and I'm already suspended, so fuck it."
"Tanner," Jorge broke in, "they'll fire you."
"They've already fucking suspended him for the year!" J.D. shot back. "Naw, fuck that. We comin' out, babe?"
Grace chuckled softly. "That'll shake things up."
"I need more time," Max muttered, sounding like he was talking to himself.
"No, you don't," Grace said. "Max, this is their life, not a marketing ploy!"
"I need more fucking time to cover for them!" Max snapped, sounding more vehement than I'd ever heard the man before.
"We're good," J.D. told him. "You worry about Cody. I'm rich, Max."
"And you will fucking lose sponsors when that comes out," Max hissed. "I need to make sure you're covered. I promised you I would."
