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I didn’t want to be on his bike when he brought me home—the realization that doing so meant I was moving further and further from safety. But watching him guard my place last night, I wanted a do-over. My arms ached to hold on tight to the tower of muscle and urge him to keep going. Somewhere. Anywhere other than here.
I wanted the freedom he could get me.
“Me and my dad,” Maddie answers. A pause and then,“Yes, I know.”She sighs. “Daddy doesn’t trust me on my own anymore.”
“I don’t trusthim,” comes hollered from the background.
I draw a sharp breath at Tyke’s commanding tone. “Connor?”
“Terry. Our families have… history, and this has kind of kindled that fire.”
“Fuck, I’m sorry.” My hand pauses on the shoulder of the jacket hanging in my closet. “I can stay here if it’s easier for everyone.”
“It’s easier if you’re home—with us,” she corrects. “The guys can keep a constant eye on you when you’re under our feet. If you’re at your place, it means Daddy has to roster someone to follow you around.”
I toss the black denim jacket to the bed and reach for spare jeans. “Mads, I honestly appreciate what you’re all doing, but I feel?—”
“If you dare say guilty,” she snaps.
“Unworthy,” I correct. “I haven’t done a damn thing for your club, and yet they’re willing to do all this for me. It’s not just changing a flat tire or some shit,” I reason, piling basic toiletries to the change of clothes. “They’re risking their safety.”
“Babe.” She pauses. “We risk our safety every day we wake up. There’s a lot about us you don’t know,” she adds softly. “Things I wish I could tell you.”
“But it’s better if you don’t.” I finish.
“Something like that.”
The line goes quiet while I retrieve my backpack and upend my work things in favor of my overnight necessities. I glance at the phone before asking, “Do you think this is my fault?”
“Hey?” She groans. “Seriously, Rae. Why would you think that?”
“Because I chose to date the douche.”
“He wasn’t a douche when you first met him, right?”
“I guess not.” Connor was charming, attentive, generous—all the things I’d been lacking in my life.
“Babe, you’ve had a shit run in life, but like Hammer said earlier, everyone deserves a helping hand when they show willingness to better themselves. This is us helping you move on. Helping you to do better next time.” She exhales. “How do we learn if not by making mistakes, Rae?
The intensity of the moment twists tight in my gut, so I do what I always do and default to humor to defuse the situation. “You all sitting around sharing my story over coffee or some shit?” I snatch a black hooded sweatshirt and a couple of tank tops to add to the bag in case the weather warms up.
“Whiskey and scotch, actually.” She laughs. “We’ll pour you one when you get here.”
I jerk the sweatshirt over my head as I move for the window. “Connor’s not there now.” I peek through a slit at the side of the curtain. “But he might be back when you get here.”
“He doesn’t scare me, Rae.”
He should.I don’t answer, snatching up my jacket and tugging it over the fleecy hoodie.
She didn’t mean it as an insult, but my stupid pride can’t help but flinch at the unintentional wound. She’s not scared of him, butIam. As though I’m weaker. I’m less.
“Get out of your head,” Maddie barks, her frustrated words crackling the phone’s speaker. “You’ve been silent long enough for me to know you’re overthinkin’ this shit as usual.”
“I should have known,” I lament, dropping my ass to the edge of the bed. “The signs were there.”
“If you’re a fucking shrink who understands sociopaths. Sure.” She huffs. “I’m lucky enough to have grown up around here, Rae. I’ve known these people since they were spittin’ in my soda at birthday parties. You can’t blame yourself for notknowing who he is.” Her tone softens. “If anyone should have done something, it should have been me.”
“No.”
