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I’m starting to think the whole concept is a damn lie.
You were the one who put me in danger
I eventually reply, sending the screen to black.
No matter what he’s done, there’s a part of my heart that remembers what it was like when he made me feel good. How I smiled. Doesn’t matter what logic I throw at it, either; my damn heart is determined to grasp onto that fleeting happiness.
No matter who gave it to me.
I grieve being able to trust it. Being able to trust that if a person makes me feel loved and treasured, then that must mean I can rely on them.
Life’s experiences are fast proving the opposite.
The cheery sound of my ringtone sings out from my palm. I groan and slam the Reject button, letting the phone slip to the floor. He calls another three times before giving up and sending another text instead.
Ever wonder how we got Tom’s name? Ever wonder who told us where to find the missing stock?
Tears blur my vision. I screw my eyes shut and grimace, biting back a scream. A magic genie. Three wishes are all I’d need to rewind this bullshit and start over. To say no when Connor asked to see me again. Perhaps even to walk straight past him when he looked my way after that damn shift. To give his table to one of the ladies instead.
It was them, Rae. I know I’m not perfect, but at least I don’t pretend to be something I’m not. Can you say the same about the Reapers?
Indignity rises up in a hot wave. Fuck him. Fuck all of this. I swipe the phone off the floor and punch through to his new number before reason has a chance to catch up with my actions.
He answers on the second ring. “I’m telling you this because I care, Rae.”
“Bullshit, you are.” I rise to my knees, seated on my heels. “You’re doing this to manipulate me back to you like you always do.”
“You’re safe with me.”He sighs, a deep timbre to his frustration. “Better the devil you know, right?”
“Safe with you?” I drop a bitter laugh. “Are you kidding me? You held me captive,” I whisper-yell. “You fucking tortured me to confess to something I didn’t do.”
“You think that was torture?”Connor chuckles.“Oh, babe. No.”More laughter.“You don’t get it, do you?”
“Get what?” I choke back a sob.
“What do you think my father would have done if I’d left it up to him? Huh?”He huffs a sharp breath.“He heard you’d talked to Barker, and he wanted you pulled in. So, I said I’d do it. I said I’d do it to keep you safe, Rae.”
“Your father would have fucking killed me,” I hiss through gritted teeth. “Am I supposed to be grateful? Remember being locked in a room without food, a toilet, anywhere to sleep for days with fucking fondness now?”
“Don’t be stupid.”
“Stupid would be falling for this shit, Connor. Do you think I’m stupid?”
“I kind of wonder sometimes, yeah.”
“Nice.”
“It’s the goddamn truth, Rae!”He pauses to seemingly collect himself.“Stay with me, where my father can control you, and you’re safe. What puts you in danger is being unpredictable. Being where he knows you’ll be used as a weapon against him.”
“Nobody wants to use me here.”
“Are you sure about that?”
I doubted the words the second they left my mouth. The fight drains from my muscles, and I slide down again, this time all the way until I’m lying curled on the floor. I set the phone to speaker and place it on the floorboards before me. “Why did you invite me to dinner that night?”
“Because he asked me to,”is Connor’s gentle reply.
It’s the softest and calmest he’s ever spoken to me. I’d almost say he sounds resigned. Defeated. Exactly how I feel.
