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The things I said about being cute and imperfections were just me being patronizing. I had to come up with those wordson the spot, but as I ponder on them through the day, I kind of realize that they very well might be a reality for me.
That might be my preference, but I never thought about them until I had to say them. I might have been making my true intentions known as I talked.
I shudder at the thought of liking Rebecca. She’s a good person, hardworking and determined, but she’s for someone else. Not me.
I want to kill her daughter’s father, for goodness’ sake. There’s so much wrong with a romantic arrangement between the both of us, and it doesn’t just stem from a moral standpoint.
I haven’t even begun to think about how wrong it is to be involved in this level with my boss. What would anyone that hears think of it?
Maybe I’m just overthinking things, though.
She might not even like me as much. She’s a woman that has been married abused and then divorced. She might be too hurt to even want anything emotional.
I want to hope so.
I want to hope she wasn’t angry that I left her bed long before she woke up. I want to put my money on the fact that she’d think more logically than emotionally. If that’s the front she has been putting up all this while, nothing should change now.
She should still be the same snobbish, high horsed boss she has always been…just with a touch of niceness.
When I get home, I make the biggest mistake I have ever made in quite a while and narrate the entire thing to Hakeem.
“…and just like that, boom! We’re kissing.” I use both my hands with each of the fingers pinched together to demonstrate the movement of our lips.
I don’t notice how excited I look until I see Hakeem looking at me with a wide suggestive smile on his face.
“What are you smiling at, bro? These are serious things I’m talking about here!” I whine, but the smile goes nowhere. If anything, it gets wider.
“You have got to be kidding me.” I pause my story telling and put a disappointed palm to my face.
This time, he doesn’t just smile. He bursts out into full-fledged, uninhibited laughter.
“Forgive me,” he lets through between his laughter. “But…you should’ve seen your face when you were describing it. You were like… ‘Boom! We kissed!” He mimics me with an exaggerated smile on his face to make an impression of me.
My expression is bland simply waiting for him to finish laughing.
“You’re finished?” I ask when he quietens down. I have no idea how that is a trigger, but he starts laughing again. Only a little, this time, though and he allows me to continue my narration after.
This time, I make sure to put effort into keeping my face as straight as possible.
“She tried apologizing, but I told her not to worry…that it happens.” I pause and wait for him to laugh. He doesn’t.
“This is where you’re supposed to laugh,ayuha alwaghad!”I call him a bastard in my native dialect, throwing a nearby fork at him.
It’s almost as if that triggers a response from him and he begins laughing, but not as hard as when he mimics me again concerning the kiss aspect.
I’m steaming in fury at my friend, but can do nothing, because he’s probably right. This is the second part I hate about what happened last night.
The fact that I am narrating the experience and Hakeem can catch the excitement in my voice as I speak about it, proves that I like it more than I care to admit.
Hakeem grabs me by the shoulders and shakes me violently.
“It has happened, Jordan,” he announces. “You’re in love with your boss, ha! Remember how the little girl…what’s her name?”
I don’t remind him.
“Cloud…Sun, whatever…”
“Skylar.” I have to say it. He is so off track with the name, it was annoying to me.
