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I toss a simple "Hey” in his direction. He has been staring at me all this time, so he gives a cheek wave with only his fingers rather than his entire hand.
Cute.
“So, are you here because you’re waiting for me or simply because Skylar hasn’t gone to bed yet?” I try to start the conversation within favorable grounds, one that would at least get us talking.
Oh, I feel like a groomer, like I know what I’m doing, and I know where I want the night to end, but I’m actively takinglittle steps just to ensure that he doesn’t notice, probably until it’s too late.
This sounds like a very Thomas-like thing to do, manipulative and cunning. Now I feel like every bit the person that I yearn my whole life to avoid.
I shouldn’t be doing this.
Of all people, I should be an advocate for fairness and just treatment. It stings me to see myself become the very person I separated myself from.
Nope, I’m not going to do this.No late-night cuddles today, and especially not in the hopes of anything sexual with him.
“Or maybe a little bit of both?” He shrugs. He’s used to being unsure and leaving me to make the main decisions about where we go from here.
If that’s how it’s going to be, then I guess I’m just going to have to let it play out rather than influencing decisions.
Hence, I make small talk from then on, generally about the show Skylar is watching and her in general, most of my conversations revolving around playing with my daughter until she’s tired enough for bed.
By the time I put her to sleep, I come back to the living room and see that Jordan has switched the channel from cartoons to the news, and there’s the breaking news of a businessman who took his life after a hostile takeover was performed on his company, and he was overthrown as the CEO.
I saw the news earlier this morning, so it’s not new to me. In fact, I do have some opinions of my own.
“I will say this, though, nothing that has already happened is worth you taking your life,” I say as I stalk the couch.
“Pardon?” Jordan quirks his ears to hear what I just said.
I repeat myself.
"I mean, you really can't tell how much the company meant to him, can you?" he says with a flat face, keeping his eyes on the 70-inch television panel.
The lights from the TV glow in different shades, representing the colors that flash on the screen, and because the room is dark, those colors shine brightly on his face.
It illuminates his face partially, especially when there are enough whites displayed on the television.
Those are the only times I get to see his handsomeness.
"Could it ever mean that much? If it does, then that means priorities are not set straight. He should be considered a weakling for having killed himself." I shake my head and reach for a pretzel bowl that was on the table before I got here. I presume that was Skylar’s snack.
“That’s such a terrible way to look at it,” he chuckles, but it doesn’t sound anyway friendly, if anything, it’s bitter.
“Well, tell me how to look at it then,” I implore him, not wanting to have any arguments that would divide us, but at the same time wanting to stick to my opinion. Hearing his own take on the matter would help create a bond rather than separation.
“There are people whose companies are their everything. They’ve struggled, probably grown-up poor, and always dreamt of success like this. Snatching it from them is almost a direct equivalent of cutting off the legs of a professional basketball player.” He shoots analogies at me, his eyes now on mine, but only briefly.
“It’s horrible,” he concludes.
His gaze goes back to the television when he’s done.
“Well, that just confirms what I’m saying,” I laugh more inwardly than out. If the business is everything he has, then he is miserable already and has been doomed from the start.
“Then why do people kill for businesses?” he asks in a way that almost sounds too personal because of the way his voicewavers. “Why are hostile takeovers legal? If the business isn’t a top priority, why struggle for it up to that level in the first place with another person?”
“Because at that point, it’s just business, no personality has entered it." I recline in the chair, feeling that I have sealed my point.
Jordan scoffs. “Killing people is just business…” He stands up and begins walking away.
