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I would, however, never do anything to compromise her physical safety, no matter how livid I got. How to diffuse that fear, though, is what I don’t know.
Hell, I don’t even know if I want her to not fear me like this. It might have a negative effect on the things she tells me. More importantly, it just doesn’t feel like the proper relationship that should exist between us both.
“Jordan, please…let’s just calm down,” she starts, trying to diffuse the situation which only angers me further. I’m not here to be told to be calm.
Fuck no!
I flip the pages of the book and read out a clause.
“This is to ensure that details about the original ownership and stake of the Persian Gulf site, remains within the leadership of this company. Sign your copy below…”I look at her. “I guess I just answered my own question.”
Then, the anger hits me. I don’t know where it comes from, but the reason Rebecca should be afraid demonstrates itself, letting itself out of the cage.
“How could you do this to me, Rebecca?!” I bellow, with fresh tears of fury streaming down my face. It’s a baptism of fluids, tears, and saliva.
All she does is sit still…no better course of action needed here, because I’m on a rampage.
I grab the nearest object that can be tossed and fling it. I have no idea what it is until I open my eyes and see the bedside table lamp shattered on the floor.
It still doesn’t feel enough, though. I still am not satisfied with what I just did and crave more…a lot more.
With another infuriated screech, I rend the sheets from the bed, ending up with only pieces of cloth between my bruised fingers and a complete disoriented Rebecca. She is still on the bed where the sheets are tightly secured, and the movement caused her world to spin.
“Jordan, please, just let me explain, please!” she begs in terror, fearing for her life.
Someone might get hurt from the incidents that would unfold, but I can assure her on the grave of my late father and mother, that it would not be her.
I’d die before any form of physical harm come to her.
“Explain? EXPLAIN!” I seethe with bulging eyes glaring at her. I’m too hurt to keep my gaze on her, so I tear it off soon enough. “Don’t explain, just answer my questions, Rebecca!”
“Jordan”
“Answer my fucking questions. That’s all I’m asking for right now.” I cut her meaningless attempts at diffusing the situation off. “That’s the only thing I’ll hear from you that doesn’t feel like a bullet wound.”
Silence.
I’ll take that as a yes.
“How long did you know?” I inquire of her.
She immediately springs forward with the answer. “About a week or two ago. I swear it. I just found out recently…I didn’t…”
“And you wanted to keep it from me,” I sneer.
What she doesn’t realize is that statement was a question. An open-ended question for her to deny and tell me that it wasn’t the way I was thinking about it.
I want her to tell me that she was going to tell me anyways…to feed into my desperate delusion, that maybe…just maybe, she’s not on their side.
I’m wrong. She stays silent, the deafening silence making plain admittance to her crimes.
“Motherfu?” I want to yell but am interrupted by a small voice.
“Daddy?”
It’s Skylar.
She’s still rubbing her sleepy eyes, having just been woken up by all the rancor and commotion that I was causing.
