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I pinned down his wrists. “You can’t escape now.”
“Escape?” He feigned innocence, but he twisted one of his hands free and caressed my nipple. “Perhaps I should.”
I laughed. “Don’t make me tie you to the bed.”
“No.”
He froze beneath me, every muscle in his body stiffening. The raw fear in his eyes hit me like a blow to the gut. Of course. He had been chained to the wall in the coffin factory, tortured for God knew how long.
“Fuck. I forgot. I’m sorry.”
He clenched his jaw. “I believe you.”
He pulled out, his erection fading fast, and took care of the preventive. Shame scorched my face. God, I had ruined our night together. I bent over him and kissed him, my hair curtaining his face. He stayed tense before relaxing into the kiss. The ice in his eyes melted.
“Ardis.” He sighed against my lips. “I wish I…”
When I leaned back, he closed his eyes. Maybe he couldn’t bear to look at me. “Yes?”
“I wish I weren’t so broken,” he whispered.
My heart ached for him. “We’re all broken, one way or another.”
I lay by him on the bed and rested my head on his chest. He held very still. He must have been trying hard not to feel.
His ribs heaved in a sigh. “How did you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Leave America. Leave it all behind.”
“Honestly? I’m not sure I did. I can’t stop missing my mother. Sometimes I dream of San Francisco, but then I remember home isn’t home anymore.”
He swallowed hard. “Are you happy?”
I answered without hesitation. “You make me happy.”
“Do I?”
“Without a doubt.”
His words quieted. “I don’t deserve you.”
“That’s not true. When I found you bleeding in the snow, I never expected I would feel this way about you, but you quickly proved me wrong.”
His mouth twitched. “You thought I was an abomination.”
“I did.”
“I can’t blame you.” He smiled.
I kissed his cheek. “Tonight, you don’t have to go alone.”
His eyes shuttered, his emotions hidden again. “I won’t let the Grandmaster hurt you.”
I cleared my throat. “Let me talk to him. Before you?—”
“No.”
