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“Why do I feel like I’m walking the plank?” I asked nervously.
“Probably because you came here to assassinate their president, and they know it?”
I gave him a wry smile. “Thanks for the awesome pep talk.”
I approached the table cautiously. They were all here. Indy. Honey. Cassidy. Chastity. Autumn. Even Ronnie. When I reached them, the talking around the table stopped, and six sets of eyes focused on me.
“Y’all know what happened?”
“Yep,” Honey replied.
I looked at each set of eyes and saw the questions there. The sense of betrayal.
“Before I explain myself, I want you to know that I was always real with you guys. That hanging out with you was the first time in a real long time that I felt like I belonged. Your friendships mean the world to me, and I hope that you’ll give me the chance to explain.” Their silence was deafening, so I continued headfirst into my apology, hoping they would forgive me. “I have a pretty unusual past—”
“Oh, honey, everyone at this table has an unusual past.” Indy’s dark eyes found mine as she spoke.
“I know, but where I come from…”
Who was I kidding? These ladies weren’t going to forgive me. I was ordered to eliminate their president. Their uncle. Their brother. Their king of Kings.
I gave her a pointed look.
“I killed people for a living,” I said bluntly.
A strange vibe settled across the table.
“Yeah, that probably wins,” Honey said, looking uneasy.
“They were bad people. Drug dealers. Gunrunners. But people, nonetheless.” I looked around the table. “But I was never going to hurt Bull.”
“But you did,” Indy said. “Just not with a bullet.”
“And if I could change that…please believe me, I would.”
“You came into our world to spy on my brother,” Ronnie said. “Then you start dating him. Tell me, when exactly did you decide you weren’t going to kill him? Before or after you made him fall in love with you?”
Ronnie was going to be tough to crack. She was fiercely protective of her brother.
“I didn’t know what my godfather had planned when I came here. I thought it was for surveillance only.” The mention of Bull being in love with me made my heart burn with regret. I could still feel his lips against mine as he moaned it into my mouth during our last night together. “Please understand, I only agreed to come here so Noah and I could stop running. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. I never came here to hurt anyone.”
“I’ve heard about enough,” Ronnie said, dragging her handbag off the table and standing up so she was eye-level with me. Close up, she was fierce. Stepping even closer, her eyes narrowed, blazing with contempt. “My advice to you is to stay the fuck away from me. Do you hear me? I might not be some ruthless, gun-toting gunslinger like you, but I’m as badass as they come, and the only reason you’re still standing here now is because my dumbass brother told me if I laid a finger on you he’d—”
“Ronnie!” Bull’s voice broke into her outburst, and I swung around to look in the direction of his voice. I hadn’t heard him walk in, but there he was, standing with Ruger only yards away, and I realized he must’ve been here the whole time.
Seeing him tightened the thick knot of regret in my chest. He looked so big and strong, but utterly damaged.
Because of me.
“She saved my life.”
His words rippled between us.
“And that’s the only reason she’s not flat on her ass,” Ronnie seethed. “Traitorous bitch!”
“Ronnie…” Bull warned, again.
But her words flowed over me like water and I barely registered them. Because seeing Bull was like a punch in my gut, and I was trembling inside. I ached to go to him, to feel his arms around me, to kiss him until the pain was gone from his heart and he loved me again. But as we stood there, I could tell the gulf between us was wide—almost too wide to cross. His gaze found mine and his chiseled jaw tightened. While all I could do was stare.
“Stay out of my way, traitor.”
I turned back to Ronnie, barely aware of what she’d said. Because I was too numb to worry about her. When she walked away, I turned back to Bull. Our eyes locked, and my throat tightened with a cold ache. He wore an unreadable mask. But I could see the turbulence in his eyes. When he turned and walked away, it was too much.
I went after him, down the hallway leading to his office. I called out, but he ignored me until we were alone in the very room where he’d given me some of the best sex of my life.
Fuck me on your desk.
“We need to talk,” I said, my voice shaky.
I watched him take a packed backpack from the couch and place it on top of his desk.
