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As the car tyres hit the gravel of the cemetery, Xavier regretted his initial bravado. Perhaps they were still riding their post-coital pleasure, but their eagerness to break another law so soon after their last was ill-considered at best.
Xavier had no problem with the idea of having sex outdoors. He had a few pleasant memories of just that, but this was different. Sex in a graveyard had sounded simple. Sex under the stars in a secluded space with a white-hot woman, no problem. It was only once they’d arrived that he realised it would entail fucking on top of decomposing bodies.
Not as sexually arousing as he’d assumed from afar.
Xavier pulled the car into the empty parking lot and killed the lights. He tapped the wheel nervously. Doubt was morphing into regret. Having sex in a graveyard was illegal and would be another notch on their law-breaking spree across America, but could he actually do it? Fighting the rising dread, he spoke before he even knew what he was saying.
“I’m not quite used to you guys having the wheel on the wrong side of the car yet, but I’m getting there.”
“Sure, you are, and I imagine that pizza delivery driver you almost had a head-on collision with a few blocks back is really appreciative of your efforts.”
“Sometimes I get the impression you’re patronising me.”
“Don’t be silly, sweetie. I’d never be condescending to you.” She added mockingly, “That’s when you talk down to people.”
“Sarcasm isn’t as funny as you think, you know.”
Recommencing his rhythmless tapping, he stared into the Old Settlers Cemetery. It was indeed an old one, the oldest in Charlotte, with headstones dating back to the War of Independence with well-established old oaks, brick lined pathways, and a rusted old iron spike fence. A horror movie cliché if there ever was one.
“I’m sensing some reluctance,” Hope said.
Trust her to read him perfectly. “Uh, yeah. Beth…uh, her sister died recently, so, yeah, not a pleasant memory. The dead sister, she was nice, and, uh, well, I wasn’t as supportive as I could have been when Beth needed me. Too busy training. That was one of the things she yelled at me for, for being a bit of a selfish jerk and well, yeah, and I realise I’m talking for the sake of it, and oh, look, an owl.”
“You inconsiderate? Perish the thought, Mister Big Tipper.”
“If only I could detect sarcasm…”
They exchanged half-smiles. Hope squirmed in her seat. Perhaps she was uncomfortable with him sharing personal details again. She’d been adamant about not sharing private information. Hope never asked for anything specific from him, nor shared anything about who she really was. He’d never known a woman to be so reluctant to share her life story. Sure, he knew a little about her job, but even that she’d offered only under duress after he’d blurted out his horror story about Beth. He still didn’t even know her real name. It was time to pry a little.
“You ever been to a funeral?”
She was silent for a moment, looking blindly out the windscreen.
“Anyone at all?” he continued. “A grandparent, a friend’s cousin, pet goldfish—”
“My mom died recently.”
Stunned, Xavier didn’t know what to say as a wave of shame washed over him. Thankfully, he didn’t have to. Hope ploughed on.
“Eight months ago. Late stage liver cancer. We only found out a few months before the end because she’d kept it to herself, not wanting to cause a bother. If cancer is one thing, it’s a bother. We were close, really close. Talked all the time. She was the first one in the family to forgive me after the…um…after this really stupid thing I did when I was young. Her passing was a punch in the gut. I miss her. In some ways I think she’s why I’m here. With you, I mean.”
Xavier remained mute, sorry he’d pried, and not wanting this newfound openness to end. Her trust seemed as fragile as spun glass, and he wanted to handle it with extreme care. Starting by shutting his stupid mouth and listening for once, he let her continue.
“The guilt I carried was huge. Knowing I’d disappointed her kept me on the straight and narrow. There’s nothing quite like motherly guilt, let me tell you. Now she’s gone, I’ve kind of reassessed where I am in my life. I didn’t much like the woman I’d become, so when this handsome Aussie guy invited me on an insane road trip, it was the opportunity I didn’t know I needed. She’d have helped me pack my bag. God, I miss her.”
Silence swirled around them again. He almost regretted asking her the question but for his insatiable need to know more about her. The night crept into the car and sat heavily beside them. This would probably be a good time for him to make everything okay.
“I’m really sorry to hear that.” He placed a hand on her arm which she immediately shrugged off.
“You never even met her.”
“Still, I’m sure she would have been a great lady, if you’re anything to go by.”
“Uh-uh. Are you making a move on me using my dead mother as an in?” Her tone held more than a hint of amusement.
“No, God, no, but I never know what to say. It usually takes me a day or two after the fact before I think of something poignant, and by then it’s way too late, and it’s usually after I’ve said something inappropriate.”
