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I’m so surprised by the words that come out of Jake’s mouth. “How come you all knew about this and I didn’t?”
“Nah, you knew; you just didn’t want to admit to yourself that you are in love with her, just like you were doing a few minutes ago. And the question is, why?”
We are both silent as I think about what he just said. I’ve always steered away from having a serious relationship with any woman, in the past before I got married to Jewel, I only had friends with benefits, no attachment whatsoever with any of these women, and that’s because I don’t want to commit to any serious relationship.
Growing up, my parents' troubled relationship left me with a deep-seated dislike for marriage. Their constant fights and strained interactions painted a negative picture of what a partnership should be.
The bitterness I witnessed made me wary of committing to such a union. I saw marriage as a source of conflict rather than companionship. Their tumultuous journey became a cautionary tale, shaping my decision to avoid entering into a similar situation. The scars from their relationship became a lasting influence, steering me away from the idea of marriage.
“I have been a fool all this while,” I admit more to myself than Jake. “I’ve been trying desperately to run away from my feelings for Jewel and now I’ve ruined everything.”
“I think you should just go ahead and tell her, man, just tell her how you feel.”
“I think it might be a little too late for that. I tried telling her the way that I feel about her, but she doesn’t want to see or speak to me, and that’s the reason I decided to leave the house. I think I lost my chance with her. I’ve lost her, man.”
“Nah, I don’t think she will stay mad at you forever, just give her some time.”
“What makes you so sure?”
“I just know,” he says with confidence as he gets on his feet. “You look fagged out, let me go get the guestroom ready for you.”
“Thanks, man…”
“Sweetheart, I’m ready…” A female voice drawls from the bedroom direction upstairs, interrupting what I was about to say.
I turn to look at Jake, my face full of surprise, first of all, I had no idea that he had a visitor, and second of all, I think I recognize that voice.
Jake quickly runs towards the stairs. “Babe, I’m coming…” But he isn’t quick enough as Emily walks downstairs, clad in nothing but a lace nightgown that leaves little to the imagination. She shrieks in surprise when she sees me and she quickly runs back upstairs.
“Why didn’t you tell me that she’s around? And why is she dressed like that…”
“Emily and I are dating now,” Jake informs me.
“What? When did this happen?”
He shrugs. “I will tell you all about it later, but first I have a business to attend to.” He winks as he finishes his vodka, places the empty glass on the coffee table, and starts walking upstairs.
“I thought you were going to prepare the guestroom for me?”
He turns to look at me, a devious grin on his face. “I’m sure you know the way to the guest bedroom, man, but my lady awaits.”
I lean back on my couch, as I continue to drink, it’s definitely going to be a long night and I know sleep is nowhere near.
As the night stretches on, I find myself lost in a whirlpool of thoughts and regrets. Jake's revelation about my feelings forMischiefweighs heavily on my mind, and I can't help but replay the events of the evening over and over in my head.
The alcohol has dulled the physical pain in my knuckles, but it does little to ease the emotional turmoil I'm going through. I had pushed Mischief further away, and now, I'm not even sure if I can ever mend what's broken between us.
Jake's advice echoes in my mind, to tell her how I feel. The thought of opening up and admitting my love for Mischief scares me. It's not just the fear of rejection but also the fear of vulnerability. I've always been in control of my emotions, and this new territory feels treacherous.
I already tried telling her how I feel and she didn’t acknowledge it. I don’t think I want to do that again.
After some time, I decide to give it another shot. I grab my phone and send a message to Mischief.
Kyle: I know I messed up tonight, but I need to talk to you. Please, just hear me out.
I press send and anxiously wait for a response, my heart pounding in my chest. Meanwhile, I can hear faint laughter and whispers coming from Jake's bedroom. He and Emily seem to be having a good time.
Minutes pass, and I don't receive a reply. The silence is deafening, and my anxiety grows. I'm not sure if she's even seen my message. Perhaps she's still too upset to respond.
