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“I’m sorry, Graham,” Heather said. “I didn’t know it was like this.”
“I don’t need your pity,” I said before I could think. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m thankful you came today and kept Collins distracted from all of that.”
“Is it always this bad?”
“Bad enough,” I said. “We don’t spend a lot of time there.”
“As I can gather,” Heather mused. “How does your dad do it?”
“I don’t think he understood exactly what he was getting himself into when he retired,” I said with a chuckle, ruffling Collins’ hair out of what remained of her braid. Heather had been kind to tell me I’d done a good job on it. I even recognized how shitty it was. Maybe I could glean some tips from her before she left us.
“I’m sure your mother keeps him on his toes,” Heather said, which was perhaps the politest way anyone had ever called my mother a bitch.
“They’re something else,” I agreed. “Passive-aggressive until they become completely aggressive. I’m sorry to say, Collins has seen it before.”
“That’s what your sister was saying.” Heather paused, watching the landscape zoom by outside the window. My parents’ place was situated in some stunning scenery—something my father earned from how hard he had worked. My mother had always been a special case. “How did you all do it growing up?”
“Do what?”
Heather shrugged and sighed at me. “Grow up with your mother acting the way she does. Surely there had to be some act of rebellion your siblings and you coordinated.”
I laughed. “Doesn’t it make sense that I’m on the market for a competent nanny? Ours did as well as she could with the three of us around.”
Heather’s teeth stood out against her red lipstick—bright. I remembered when I’d last seen that—when I was urging her into silent ecstasy on that goddamn leather chair. I couldn’t pass by that fucking thing without getting hard anymore.
“Graham, I tried to tell you earlier, but I’m not sure it sunk in—a nanny isn’t a replacement for a parent.” Heather’s eyes slid to Collins, but my daughter was enraptured by the movie that was playing just for her, and she paid no attention to us adults. “You’re not going to replace a mother. You’re going to supplement your parenting.”
“And that’s why I need a really good one, and I need your help with the search,” I reasoned. “I know what my failures are, and I know I can’t be there every minute of every day for my daughter. There’s a lot of supplementing that needs to be done when it comes to my parenting.”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying at all,” she said quickly, leaning forward and unwittingly giving me a fantastic view of her cleavage—that damn dress. She looked so good in it that it had almost been impossible to take my eyes off her the entire night, even when my mother went for the jugular about my ineptitude in keeping a viable mother figure around for Collins. “Graham, you’re doing everything any father can do, and you’re doing it so well. You knew when it was time for Collins to leave the table, and you planned for that contingency. I’m sorry I was hesitant to come. And I’m sorry—”
Heather choked on her words, and I leaned forward. “What’s wrong?”
She laughed and shook her head. “No, never mind. You listen to me. I’m here for just a while longer, but I’m still going to do all I can for you and Collins, okay? I’ll find a nanny who will be amazing for your daughter—someone who can support the good job you’re already doing.”
“That’s all I really need,” I allowed, even if it was a complete lie.
Because I’d already decided that what I needed was Heather.
She helped me put Collins to bed, and for perhaps the first time that wasn’t through a screen, I got to witness Heather interact with Collins one-on-one. She was so good with my daughter, so caring, thoughtful, and attentive. She listened to every word that came out of Collins’ mouth, so much so, I doubted my own power as a father who sometimes accidentally agreed to things I didn’t quite hear Collins say.
That was the story of how we got a miniature zip line in our backyard, anyway. It had been fun until it wasn’t. Collins had ended up spraining her little ankle on a hard landing, and that very night, I cut the damn thing down myself and blamed it on the weather the next day when Collins had been raring to try again.
“I guess I’ll go home now,” Heather said, both of us standing in the foyer of the house like awkward teenagers trying to decide whether they should kiss.
I was in favor of ending that decision right away as I stepped forward, tipped her chin up, and lavished those red fucking lips with the attention they deserved. Her delicate tongue met mine, both of us exploring and tasting each other. She hadn’t had any wine, so I just tasted her—sweet and earnest and way too goddamn temporary.
Like autumn colors in the fall.
“Graham.” Heather cleared her throat as she stepped back from me. “We can’t be doing this. We shouldn’t. I told you, it’s too complicated.”
“What if it isn’t complicated at all?” I countered as I edged my hand down the low back of her dress, reveling in the snap of her thong against my fingers. “What if it’s as simple as it needs to be?”
Heather leaned closer and panted. She wasn’t immune to this, even if she tried to pretend she was apart from it. My cock begged for attention, straining against my trousers. It would be such a simple thing to unzip my pants, hook her panties to the side, and take what’s already mine. Fuck, the leather chair was exactly where we left it, ready to withstand another night of passion.
Suddenly, she broke our embrace with a ferocity I didn’t know she was capable of. “Graham, no.”
“Give me one good reason why we shouldn’t, and I won’t bother you again. I swear to you.”
