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“Remind me not to ask you if I look like I gained a few pounds.”
Fox did a quick sweep over my body. His gaze lingered for a heartbeat or two at my cleavage before making its way up again. “No worries there. You look pretty good to me.”
Was hard-ass Fox giving me a compliment and,gasp, flirting?
No matter, I didn’t even get to fully enjoy the moment before he went and ruined it.
“So what made you take a slip-on shoe vacation?”
I was confused until I remembered I’d complained to him about my mother describing my stay in a mental hospital, where they’d taken my shoelaces when I arrived, as avacation.
I probably should’ve been insulted that he was poking fun. But instead I found myself smiling. It was oddly refreshing that someone didn’t feel the need to tread lightly on the subject. People didn’t tease someone about things they felt bad about.
“Since you asked so nicely, I was struggling with depression and anxiety. It started with my work. I’m a principal scientist at Kolax and Hahm Pharmaceuticals. I develop new medicines for cancer treatments. One of the drugs I developed went into phase-three clinical trials, which is when it’s tested on a large number of people. AMERL7 was supposed to produce tumor regression in patients with brain cancer. It had showed a lot of promise during the earlier phases. But when we went wide, we discovered it had an interaction with the chicken pox vaccine. Fourteen children died because they participated in my trial.”
Fox’s face dropped. “Shit.”
“Yeah. It hit me hard, and I couldn’t move past it. I tried for a few months. By the time I checked myself in, I was spending twenty-three hours a day in bed. I was physically exhausted from depression.”
“I’m sorry.”
“There were other factors, too. Like I was supposed to get married in August.”
“Next month?”
I nodded.
“What happened?”
“My ex-fiancé, Noah, is an orthopedic-surgery resident. He works a ton of hours. I was feeling really lost after everything happened in the trial and started having trouble sleeping. One night, he was supposed to get off at midnight but didn’t come home. I texted him, and he said he’d just gotten out of an emergency surgery and had to stay because someone had called in sick. I decided to surprise him and deliver him dinner.”
“Uh-oh.”
“Yeah. I was the one who got the surprise. When I went to the desk on the surgical floor, another resident told me Noah had left a little while ago. I figured someone must’ve come in and he didn’t want to text me so late since I’d been having so much trouble sleeping. On my way back to my car, I noticed a Volvo parked in the hospital parking lot that looked like Noah’s. When I got closer, I realized he was in it. He was sitting in the driver’s seat with his head back and eyes closed. Ithoughthe was so exhausted that he’d fallen asleep. It wasn’t until I got to the door that I saw a head bobbing up and down.”
“Jesus. I’m sorry.”
“The worst part was that I stood there frozen and the assholefinished. I’m pissed at myself to this day that I didn’t at least ruin the moment for him.”
Fox smiled. “It sounds like you had a rough couple of months.”
“I never thought I’d be someone who needed help.”
“I think most people could use it at some point in their life and don’t have the courage to ask for it. You’re strong.”
I smiled sadly. “Thank you for saying that.”
“Are you better now? Or should I add another lock on my door because you become dangerous when unhinged?”
I wrinkled up my napkin and threw it at him. “You’re such a jerk.”
He smiled. “Seriously though, are you good?”
“I think so. I talk to a therapist over Zoom every other week. I suffered a trauma that left me with depression, but I don’t have long-term clinical depression. I had never experienced anything like that, so I didn’t know how to handle it.”
“All kidding aside, I’m right next door, if you ever want to talk.”
“Wow. Thank you. I got the impression you weren’t much of a talker.”
