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Ninety minutes later, I pulled into the parking lot of Tile Emporium. The store was dark. The sign on the front said they opened at ten, so I checked my phone. Nine forty-five. My cell also had a notification from my alarm company. Ninety percent of the time, it was a package being delivered or some random animal that set it off, but I had time to kill so I swiped to open and signed in to watch the video replay.
This time was no different than the usual, except the random animal the motion sensor picked up had a playmate today—and that playmate looked like a damn Playmate of the Month. Josie wore a white bikini, and she was running around my yard chasing a limping duck. I lifted the phone to my nose for a better look. What the hell was on the duck’s head? I pinched the screen to zoom in. The video blurred as it got closer, but it wasn’t so bad that I couldn’t make out a blue-and-white polka-dot bow clipped to the feathers on the top of the duck’s head.
I shook my head. They’d let that woman out of hervacationtoo soon. Josie chased the bird around my yard for a solid minute, running onto my deck, across the lawn, and eventually splashing into the lake before diving in head first. Sadly, that was the end of the bikini-show video. Though…my security system did have a live feature. And I had the ability to control the camera remotely. When I clicked the LIVE button, my yard was still empty, so I panned the camera to the right.
Every time I thought this woman couldn’t do anything more ridiculous, she surprised me. She’d set up a blue plastic baby pool in the middle of her yard, and a duck with a ribbon on its head was swimming around as Josie did the backstroke in the lake behind it. After a few minutes, she waded out of the water and parked her ass in the baby pool across from the duck, smiling. She splashed the duck. It stood upright, fluttered its wings, and splashed back. Josie’s head bent back in laughter.
As idiotic as this was, I couldn’t stop staring at my phone. Ten minutes went by as I sat in the parking lot of Tile Emporium. This damn woman had taken over my entire morning. Hell, it wasn’t just today either. She’d starred in my dream last night, too. Eventually, a call coming in on my cell interrupted my spying. It was a client, so I reluctantly closed the security app and went back to business—though not before snapping a quick picture.
After I finished the call, I had the strongest urge to open the security app again, or at least pull up the photo I’d saved, but I had shit to do. So I leaned over to the passenger seat, opened the glove box, and tossed my cell inside. Out of sight. Out of mind.
Yeah, right.
Though I did manage to keep busy enough to only check the security camera twice more for the rest of the day. Unfortunately—or perhaps fortunately for my productivity—the yard was empty, hers and mine. Josie was probably inside watching a YouTube video on mastering duck calls or some shit.
On my way home, I stopped off at Laurel Lake Inn for my usual Tuesday-night bacon-wrapped pesto pork tenderloin, and by the time I pulled into my driveway, the sun was already starting to set.
It was a nice night, so after I dumped my laptop in the house and got changed, I went out to eat my dinner on the back deck. The plastic kiddy pool was no longer in the neighbor’s yard, which was disappointing but definitely better for me in the long run. I opened the box with my meal and had just started to cut into the meat when I heard screaming from next door.
“No, no, no! Damn it!”Josie yelled.
A rickety metal door squeaked open and slammed shut, and the duck limped out to where Josie’s rotted back deck used to be. She followed thirty seconds later.
“I can’t believe you did that.” She wagged her finger. “That was like…your cousin.”
The duck quacked and nuzzled against her leg. If I didn’t know better, I might’ve thought the thing was apologizing.
Josie bent and scratched its head. “Awww, It’s okay. I’m sorry I yelled at you.”
I shook my head and went back to cutting my meat, but before I could get the first bite into my mouth, the duck came running toward my deck.
Josie chased after it, stopping short when she saw me sitting there. She scooped the duck into her arms.
“Oh. Sorry. I didn’t see you.”
I gestured a circle with my fork. “Didn’t want to interrupt your conversation with your friend.”
She frowned. “Daisy stole my dinner off the table.” Her nose scrunched up. “It was chicken.”
I chuckled. “Maybe he’s upset that you eat birds.”
She pushed up on her toes to peer into my takeout tray. “Is that the roast pork from Laurel Lake Inn?”
“It is.”
Josie ran her tongue across her bottom lip. “I tried it last week. It’s delicious.”
I’d skipped lunch today and probably could’ve eaten two servings of this meal, yet I wouldn’t mind the company. “Would you like some?”
She waved me off. “No, that’s your dinner. You enjoy it.”
“There’s enough here for two.”
She gnawed that plump bottom lip of hers. “Are you sure?”
I stood. “I’ll go get a plate.”
“Actually…” She thumbed over her shoulder. “The stove is still on, and I already have a second glass of wine poured. Would you want to eat next door? I’ll put Daisy to bed in the garage so she can’t strike a second time.”
