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I nodded.
“I pulled back from people after my father died,” she said. “I understand it’s scary to get close after losing loved ones.”
I swallowed. “It’s more than that.”
She shook her head. “What is it then?”
“Both were my fault. If I’d been a better brother, a better boyfriend…”
Josie touched her chest, and her eyes filled with tears. “No. You can’t do that, Fox. You can’t carry the responsibility of someone’s death. Trust me, I did it, and I wound up in a very bad place. Do you know how many times I beat myself up? Why aren’t I a better scientist? Why didn’t I check for negative reactions against old vaccines? The one thing I learned from therapy is that guilt can either hold you back or teach you a lesson. It’s a choice only you can make. It’s not healthy to carry it with you. Guilt is like nourishment to a storm. The more you feed it, the stronger and more destructive it grows. Please don’t let it hold you back. Don’t let it keep you from being happy. Even if that’s not with me, Fox.”
“You’re the first thing that’s made me happy in a long time.”
Tears spilled over and tracked down Josie’s cheeks. I wiped them away. I wasn’t sure if it was seeing Josie upset or telling her why I’d shut down, but it felt like I’d torn a hole in my chest and bent back my ribs, leaving my heart beating under a giant open wound.
Josie got up from her chair and sat on my lap. She cupped my cheeks between her hands. “Take a chance. Take a chance with me.”
I shook my head. “I don’t deserve another chance. I don’t deserve you.”
“Oh, Fox. Don’t say that. You’re a beautiful man, inside as much as outside. You make me happy. I want to do the same for you. You said you like simple. Well, it’s as simple as this: Let me. And we’ll see if we can work.”
I swallowed and tasted salt. Deserving or not, this woman was all I wanted. “I don’t know what tomorrow looks like, Jos.”
“Who does? For the first time in my life, I want to do what feels right, what I want—not what I’m supposed to do or what might please someone else. Laurel Lake gave me that clarity.Yougave me that clarity. I have no idea what the future looks like, but it feels like you’re worth taking a chance and figuring it out.”
I closed my eyes and nodded. When I opened them, the guilt didn’t disappear, but it seemed a little lighter. I’d also done enough talking for one night. With my mouth, that is. Well, unless my mouth was on this woman. “Can you forgive me for being an asshole?”
“Clearly. Since you’re an asshole most of the time.”
Cradling Josie in my arms, I stood. She yelped, but the smile was back on her face.
“What are you doing?”
“Gonna finish my apology…inside of you.”
CHAPTER 28
More Apologies, Please
Josie
The man knew how to apologize, that was for sure.
Fox slid down my body, draping my legs over his shoulders. His hands slipped under my ass, and he lifted as he lowered his head. He didn’t start with a gentle flutter or tease, he dove in with his full face.
Oh God.
He sucked and licked, the scruff on his cheeks and chin scraping against my sensitive flesh turning me on more than I ever thought something like that would. He alternated between long strokes with a flattened tongue and tunneling into me. It wasnothinglike I’d ever felt before. I’d had men go down on me, but this…this waseating me out. I usually found the term kind of cringy, but I clearly hadn’t understood how it differed fromplain old oral sexuntil now.
My back arched from the bed. Fox reached up and held me down. I was on the edge already, and we’d barely started. His tongue lapped at my arousal as my fingers threaded into his thick hair. When he sucked hard on my clit, I couldn’t control how roughly I yanked the strands.
“Fox!” My breath shook.
“That’s it, baby. Come on my tongue. You taste so good…”
My body started to vibrate from the inside out. I moaned his name, and Fox responded by slipping two fingers inside me. He pumped in and out once…twice… On the third time he sucked my clit into his mouth and did some magical swirl, and I exploded. My orgasm packed a punch so hard that I saw nothing but stars as it washed over me.
By the time I could see again, Fox was on the move. He hovered over me, one arm on either side of my head, bearing his weight.
